11 weeks old

Mommyhood w/ twins is becoming more manageable. I have a routine down that seems to work relatively well. I'm hoping to improve as time goes by so that I can accomplish a little more with my day than just feeding, burping and diapering two babies w/ no time to spare. I actually took a bath today while the babies were in their bouncy seats right next to the bathtub. Now this wasn't a long soak in the tub w/ bubble bath. This was a quick lather up, shave my legs and get out in a hurry but still...it's a step up. I have no dried spit up on me at the moment. I'm hoping I can move up to applying a little make-up and putting on something other than sweats sometime in the near future. Actually sweats would be an improvement over wearing the same pajamas for two days in a row. Oh Boy....

My weekends are whirlwinds. J's home then so I try to get as much done as I can. I'm running in a dozen different directions at once as I try to vacuum, dust, do laundry, iron, cook enough for a few days, run any necessary errands, etc...etc... When J's home (on weekends and at night) he feeds and diapers one as I do the other. I am so thankful that he continues to help me w/ the middle of the night feeding. Not that he's been given a choice :-) The boys are starting to sleep a little longer. They still eat every 3 hours like clockwork during the day but we get a 5 to 5 1/2 hour stretch at night. I figure it's been about 6 months since I slept through an entire night and actually had 7 or even dream of a heavenly 8 hours of slumber. I was up constantly during that last trimester of my pregnancy w/ bathroom visits, heartburn and little feet jabbing up in my ribcage.

Both babies are smiling everyday now. It just melts my heart to see those huge grins. Finally...after weeks of constant sad, crying faces. Interesting to me that we're born into this world crying and have to learn to smile and laugh. I think we're on the verge of hearing a laugh or chuckle.

I'm trying to interact and play w/ both boys everyday. Even if its just a few minutes on their floor gym "mat". I usually prop them up on a boppy pillow and we look at the toys and flashing lights. I also try to have tummy time at some point during the day. This only lasts for a few minutes b/c they don't like it for long since they're not used to being on the stomachs. I get down to their level and talk to them as they hold their heads up and work on strengthening their chest and arm muscles. That seems to sooth them some so they last a little longer.

Andrew is such a slow eater...he wants to take his time....more like take an eternity and could care less than Matthew is waiting in the wings for his turn. He will eat every last drop and stays at the same slow.... take a sip, play w/ the nipple like a pacifier, take a sip, ponder world events, take another slow leisurely sip ...pace the entire time. On average it takes 45 minutes to feed Andrew 5 ounces. I've tried limiting how long I let him eat to see if he'll learn to eat faster but no such luck and he'll cry up a storm in you take away the bottle before he's done. He also needs to be burped several times during the feeding. He makes this deep in his chest grunting sound that means he needs to be burped. One thing about Andrew...he's slower than slow but he won't lose a drop of milk...no spit up for this guy. Whereas Matthew basically eats the bottle 3 times faster than his brother and then proceeds to throw it all up projectile style. This guy will spit up during the feeding, immediately following the feeding and even an hour or two after he's finished eating. Nothing helps...I hold him upright for at least 20 or more minutes after each feeding and he's now on Zantac for what the doctor calls GERD to see if that will help. I think every item in my family room has been hit w/ spit up. I know I sure have. A few days ago I was trying to stop the flow of milk that started continuously pouring out of his mouth and nose as I walked back from their nursery and quickly sat down to get a better handle of the situation. I immediately noticed that my entire behind felt wet. I got up and found that Matthew must have spit up a bunch of milk over my shoulder and down my back to land mostly on my ass. And now I literally had spilled milk all over my recliner from where I sat down. This was the same day that both babies either peed on me or pooped all over the changing table during a diaper changing and one of my dogs vomited on my carpet. The minute J walked in the door from work that day I escaped for the longest bathroom break of my life. I sat on the toilet lid wondering just how long I could get away w/ being in there.

I've read about other twin mom's that feed both babies a bottle at once. Not sure how they manage that. I've thought about propping them up in the boppy pillows and trying but I'm worried about how I'd manage w/ the milk that escapes and drips down their face when they eat, the spit up and how I'd burp them mid-feed. Sounds like it could turn into a disaster. I also like the one on one time we have...if only it didn't take quite so long.

Now on to the topic of poop. For those of you who are exclusively breastfeeding. You have no idea how great you have it in the poop department. I was in for a shock when I started supplementing some of the feedings w/ formula. We went from yellow seedy poops that were pretty easy to clean up and an odor that wasn't pleasant but it didn't make your eyes water either. Now we've got this disgusting nasty dark green pasty slime that makes me want to run from the room. And the smell...on my god...the smell. The breast milk poop is like roses in comparison. It made me want to reconsider the switch to formula.

I am weaning to formula right now. The mastitis was bad...really bad. I did the antibiotics for 7 days and it still came right back. I had strong intravenous antibiotics on top of the oral ones and that still didn't take care of it. Finally my doctor said I had an abscess and recommended having it surgically aspirated and drained. I decided to wait a week and see if I could get it under control myself and somehow seem to have manged to do so (hopefully). If it comes back I'll have no choice but to have it aspirated. This killed my milk supply and it's just too much for me to pump 6 hours a day to come up with the 70-80 ounces of milk I need a day. After I got over the massive amount of guilt I felt I am so much happier. Breastfeeding for me was loads of stress. I now have more time to cuddle and play with my babies. I almost made it to 3 months of breastfeeding. Wasn't quite what I'd planned on but it's better than nothing. There is a part of me that's a little sad about the possibility that this could be the last time I ever produce milk that can nourish my children. There is something so touching and beautiful about the fact that we as women can do that.

I have to say...that even though my life is pretty chaotic and a juggling act right now. There is truly no where else in the world that I'd rather be than at home with my two babies.



Matthew having tummy time. Look at how high I can hold my head.


Matthew


Matthew hanging out w/ Mr. Bear who was a gift from Great-Grandma


Andrew


Andrew having tummy time


Andrew and Matthew