Never Ending Story

I've been miserable. I've been trying to pass a kidney stone for the last four days. It's the worst pain imaginable...total torture. Do you remember that I had one in the 11th week of this pregnancy? So this is the 2nd time I've had one. I have no idea why I'm getting them when I never had one before pregnancy but I honestly feel like I can't take it anymore at times. I had a complete nervous breakdown on Monday...

So....On top of going to the hospital daily- literally 5 out of 6 days straight for nonstop monitoring, non stress tests, etc... I finally thought I caught a break when I was given Saturday off and was told I didn't have to be back until Monday. I was so happy to know I'd have a chance to rest at home even if it's on bed rest... bed rest sounded like heaven over traveling to the hospital and being there for most of the day. Saturday was spent on my butt in bed and I had a friend come over w/ a bunch of baby clothes she got from her sister-in-law. Great clothes. I was super happy b/c I am sooo set clothing wise for the first year. Then on Sunday I started to feel worse. More tightening in the uterus, and what feels like spasms in my vagina canal. I also had a very sore back (especially on the left side) for several days, but figured it was from the steroid shots and from being pregnant w/ twins. Well that back pain turned into the most intense excruciating pain imaginable and I knew right away what it was since I'd been through this before. I told J to get dressed and I called the doctor to tell him we were on the way. Then I cried, cursed, yelled, threw up and went in and out of shock for the hour long ride to the hospital. I thought I was going to pass out.

When we finally got to the hospital after what felt like days, J had to illegally park so he could pretty much carry me to triage. Everyone thought I was in labor and I wanted to scream...no this is way way way worse b/c at that moment I didn't care about anything but them stopping the pain. Looking back it's interesting just how strong the mother's instinct is b/c I was all over that hospital bed, shaking and curling up and hunched over. They were trying to get the babies on the monitors and couldn't find Matthews heartbeat. The nurse worked at it forever and finally asked me if I'd felt him move lately. I actually felt my whole body still and I asked if something was wrong w/ one of the babies. She said she needed help and got another nurse. It was like time stood still for a few minutes and the pain was in the background while the 2nd nurse tried to find the heartbeat. She finally did and then the pain was back full force and I was throwing up all over the machinery and floor next to the bed.

So...to make along story short. They made sure the babies were okay, gave me a shot of heaven (Demerol) which I have to say is so much better than Morphine for me b/c Morphine only makes me more nauseous. Then they did a bunch of tests and ruled out infections of the kidney and bladder. They found some trace amounts of blood in my urine so they concluded that it was in fact a kidney stone and sent me on my merry way to pass it at home on my own. Although they wanted me back again (scream) the next day (Monday) for more monitoring and another non-stress test.

Monday was a very very bad day (one of the worse I've ever had)...let's leave it at that. I wanted to kill J and kill anyone near me (literally) b/c of the pain and the stress of the last week, especially when they told me my NST wasn't looking so great and I'd have to be back again on Tuesday. Enough said.

Tuesday & Wednesday- found out my follow up FFN test came back negative and that Dr. H was going to let me stay home both Tues and Weds and I wouldn't have to go back to the hospital until Thurs. I cried such fat tears of relief. I needed this news more than anything. A negative FFN means I am extremely unlikely to go into labor in the next two weeks. So the hanky panky J and I had must have caused the false positive on the last FFN test. And right now I'm associating everything I've been through w/ that hanky panky so he may never ever be allowed to lay a hand on me again :-) I'm still not sure about why Dr. H is having me so closely monitored every day at the hospital. All I know is that he doesn't like some "depreciation's" in one of the heartbeats and is watching it closely. I'll be seeing him on Thurs (tomorrow) so hopefully he can tell me what the hell is going on. And maybe... just maybe the stone will be passed by then and I might actually be able to try and enjoy some aspect of this pregnancy. At this point the pain comes in waves.. I think it correlates w/ when the stone is moving and when it's stopped.

So in the last 10 days I've been to the hospital 7 times, I've had a positive FFN test, a yeast infection, several failed non stress tests and am currently trying to pass a kidney stone. Good times. ***oh and I have to add that my dog Molly who's a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (long hair) was up last night w/ diarrhea so we had to get up to let her out 4 times in the middle of the night and she got diarrhea all over her fur so J had to give her a bath at 2:30am. I told J this was Molly's way of helping him prepare for what is to come w/ twins... I don't think he thought that was funny.

My big growth u/s is on Monday...don't you think it would be only fair for that to go extremely well. Like maybe show two healthy babies measuring just right w/ no fluid in their kidneys. Is that too much to ask?