Seeking something...anything
I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm actually crying right now...got less than 3 interrupted hours of sleep last night, have a bad bad bad migraine and my husband has been and will continue to be out of town working for the rest of the week. I am completely and totally alone. I have one of those migraines where you get the aura (spots of light), nausea and a blinding headache. I've taken several Imitrix and it isn't helping. I'm stressed, totally sleep deprived and I think the babies can sense it b/c they are so fussy. Matthew cried all night long. I was up pacing with him non-stop all night...must have walked many miles. I had to throw him on his bouncer (screaming) so I could run to the toilet to vomit and then run back to pick him up to continue pacing.
I realize I have no support system here at all. We have no family here. My parents are almost four hours away. We moved here three years ago and I haven't made that many friends. My closest local friend moved away several months ago...another one is sick right now and anyone else I know works and has their own family to take care of. There is no one I can call to help out for a few hours.
*My sick friend just came by wearing a face mask so she wouldn't get us sick. She's going to pick up and go fill Matthews prescription for Zantac since he's basically out. Bless her. One thing I won't have to worry about.
All I know is...J's check better be huge! He's making all double time pay and is working extremely long shifts w/ short rest periods in between. He was called up to Northern California b/c of the recent storms. He's an electric engineer for a utility company and I guess there are tons of people without power so J's pretty busy trying to help out. They told him it would be 3 days so I'm a little annoyed to put it mildly that its going way past that.
Matthews calling...better go.
Labels: 3-6 months
posted by Keeping The Faith @ 8:30 AM
19 comments
19 Comments:
Oh, hon. It must be so difficult to be alone and in that situation. I have migraines so I understand the pain that you are dealing with. I can only imagine dealing with two fussy babies on top of that. Yikes!!
I wish getting to the west coast was an easy trip for me because I would be over tonight with dinner and energy to help with the boys.
Mr. LIW often works long hours and I have to keep the OT money in mind so I don't go crazy.....but it still sucks.
Hang in there. Email me if you want to chat/need a shoulder...
XOXO
Hi Faith - It's Lisa. I'm so sorry to hear your dilemma. I forget where you live. I'm in Northern CA. I'd be there in a sec, with my son, to help out. I opine from your wording though you're more than a few hours away. Hang in there and my thoughts are with you. ~Lisa
I know your pain and struggle. There was a time when my twins were infants that I was calling those friends of friends of neighbors that had said once "that if you need any help..." I was crying on the phone to a complete stranger. It's overwhelming. The friend that I talked to called our local moms of multiples club and someone called me back the next day. It really made a world of difference to know that what you are experiencing is normal with twins. It can be so impossibly hard at times. Please email me if you'd like and if you find a minute go to NOMTC.com and find your local multiples group. I can tell you it will get better as they sleep more and there is such thing as night nannies if you need it. Hang in there, you are doing your best.
mjw699 @ yahoo . com (no spaces)
~jen
Keep hanging in there, these days must really suck. If I was closer, I would come help you out.
It will get better and I hope your head feels better soon. I know what a pain migraines can be, I couldn't imagine a screaming baby or two on top of it.
Faith, I hear you! While I don't suffer from migraines, I can relate to the general overwhelmingness of caring for infant twins on your own.
I have had many, many "I don't think I can do this!" moments in the last few weeks as I counted down the days until my husband went back to work. While we were blessed with his paternity leave, it made it that much harder for me when he finally went back.
I wish I could help more, but just want you to know that you are not alone. Hang in there - you can do it! And ask for help from ANYONE who offers - even if you don't know them well. If you attend a church, that might be a good place to start too. I know how hard it is to ask for help from strangers, but you might get lucky.
For now, I will just send you virtual hugs and hopes that things will get better for you soon.
Thinking of you!!
Hi Faith,
This is another Lisa here. I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that you are having a tough time right now. I have to say that there is no way that I could have done what you are doing right now. Alone with twins - you are incredible. Sleep deprivation is terrible and it is easy to understand why it is considered a form of torture.
Please, please ask anyone that you can for help. Even if people have their own families they can usually spare a few hours. Even if you can get a few extra hours of sleep during the day so that you can get through the nights.
Also consider hiring a post-partum doula. Just look for a local doula program and you should be able to find someone. It will be well worth the money. If you don't have a doula program try posting on Craigslist for a baby nurse. Just find some way to get a few more hours of sleep.
Do whatever you can to get the babies to sleep. Do they like the swing? If so put them in it and let them sleep as long as they will. Do not worry about a schedule right now. Your sanity is far more important right now.
Lastly, have you tried using miracle blankets with the boys? My non-sleeping son slept for 5 hours straight the first night I used one. They are a bit pricey ($30 for a blanket seems steep to some) but it is well worth it. If the makers of the miracle blanket came to me a week later and told me I had pay them $500 to keep the blanket I would have handed over the cash on the spot!
I wish I could help. After having two colicky babies and a nasty case of post partum depression I feel for any mom in this position. So while I cannot offer any physical assistance please know that I am thinking of you all the way here on the east coast.
Lisa
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time sweetie, can't your mom come and stay with you while your hubby is out of town?
I hope that things get better soon and that 2008 brings you lots of happines.
All my love xxx
That must be very upsetting and overwhelming. Just a migraine on it's own is bad enough without having tiny babies to take care of.
I hope you feel better soon. I know that we can offer you words of comfort, but not much else! We would all be there to help out if we didn't live half way across the world.
(((((((((hugs))))))))))
Mands xx
I wish I could help in some way! Hang in there. I hope things ease up soon, and you get a moment to sleep and regenerate. Perhaps you can find a sitter? Even if you are home, you could sleep.
Faith, if I didn't live across the country, I'd be there right now! So sorry you are having a tough time. I'm praying that your husband gets home soon!
Carla
I SOOOO feel for you and I wish I were there to help because I know how hard it must be. I had a migraine yesterday, though not nearly as bad as yours, and Daniel was out of town for work. All I could do was keep telling myself that he’d be home soon and I’d have help. At one point, I finally got Landry to sleep in her swing so I took Chayse in our bathroom with me while I took a steaming hot bath (and, funny, I thought of you during that time from your recent post about your bath!!). Migraines are horrible, horrible, horrible and I was always afraid of how it would be to have one with one baby in the house…little did I know I’d have to deal with a migraine and two babies. I admire you for being able to get through it alone though I know it is such a test and those can definitely be some of the worst moments.
Have you tried any other medications? I went through 3 or 4 before I finally found one that worked really well for me. Unfortunately, years later, I’m getting a tolerance to it so I’m going to have to go back to my neurologist for something new.
Do you have a local mom’s of multiples club or a mother’s day out program? I do but haven’t been yet. I think it’s probably something I would do if I weren’t working though, just to have the support and camaraderie. I’ve just decided it’s all about getting to know more people. My family is an hour away so, while they can usually get there, it’s hard to ask them to come watch our babies for a couple of hours when they will spend that much time on the road. So, I am considering asking some of the teachers at the daycare if they do any babysitting on the side. So if there are any groups you could join maybe that could give you some connections.
I really, really hope that you are feeling better today though I know it takes a while for the migraines to completely go away. Big hugs to you for all that you do!!!
Hi Faith,
I'm so sorry to hear about your migraine and sleep deprivation. I wish you lived closer and I could help out. I hope today is a better day and that your husband comes home very soon. Much love, Kate
Just sending you a "hang in there". Hope you got some helpful suggestions from the above.
Bea
Wow. You are amazing doing such double duty alone and feeling ill. I'm sorry your support system is so far away. I have a similar situation and have often wished my mother could come the 200 miles in a flash to help with my newborn. I hope things smooth out for you soon.
Hon,
PLEASE call me any time, even just to cry and/or vent! I'd call you this very moment but my husband has my cell phone with your # in it!
I'm on the verge too, and I have tons of help, so you are super woman and super Mom to me, you do it all so it's bound to be stressful and overwhelming, I can't imagine!!
I will check in with you later, but please do call if you need to talk, okay??
OH No! I'm so so sorry. I wish I was there to help you. If you live anywhere near San Diego let me know, I would be happy to help in anyway I can.
I really hope by the time you get this comment you are feeling better and the boys are less fussy.
Hang in there girl, I don't know what you are going through but I know it's hard and you will get threw this.
((BIG HUGS))
I'm so sorry, hon. I have migraines too, and live a zillion miles from my support system, so I have been living in fear of just such a situation, and I only have one baby, AND my husband is a stay-at-home dad. I can't even truly imagine what you are going through, but it sounds horrible. I really hope that you get a break soon, and can catch up on your sleep. You'll feel SO much better once that migraine lifts.
Twin moms are my heroes.
Faith,
I'm behind in my blog reading so I just saw this. I hope that you are doing better now. I know EXACTLY what you were/are feeling. The first few months are VERY HARD - having twins just makes it that much harder. I had so many crying days when I stayed at home with my twins. It got easier for me once the babies were able to do more independent play - I hope it does for you. Please feel free to e-mail me! I wish I could be there to help you out!
Hey after having to deal with infertility you don't need to feel bad about being so little! I wish that would happen to me, but whatever! Take your positives where you can get them!
Hey when you have a chance, don't forget to talk to me about IVIg, k? I know you're really busy...but when you have a second I'd like to hear about it!
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