Happy Easter!

Easter 2008...



Mommy & Andrew



Mommy & Matthew


Daddy & Andrew


Our Family

Where am I?

I am in the middle of a zillion boxes...some packed, some waiting to be filled. Stuff is everywhere and I have exactly one week to get everything sorted, throw away, given to charity or packed to be moved.

Yes... we sold our house.

Escrow actually closes in 2 weeks but I am having eye surgery in one week so that doesn't give me much time to do all that needs to be done. I would put the eye surgery off but I've been putting it off for the last two years. First, b/c nothing else came before getting pregnant, then nothing came before staying pregnant. So you see I can't put it off any longer. I'm having a pterygium removed from my right eye. This is also known as Surfers eye. Its a fleshy tissue that grows over the cornea and is caused by spending a great deal of time outdoors. So my many years in the high altitude Colorado sun and also on the beach/ in the pool in California (without proper UVA/UVB blocking sunglasses) has resulted in this. Vision can be affected if not corrected and it's physically irritating and cosmetically unappealing.

So in the last two weeks...we had all of our home inspections done. Everything went well and now we just cross our fingers that all continues to go smoothly. I will have a heart attack if this falls through. We finally found a house to rent in the city we're moving to. It wasn't as easy as we had expected. I wanted a very particular part of town and we needed a good floor plan that would work for our family. We plan to stay out of the market for two or so years and save like crazy as the market continues to go down and or stabilize. So we finally found a place that will work and had to jump all over it. Good homes for rent don't last more than a day or two. So we're paying a daily holding fee that won't be refunded if our house falls out of escrow.

It's just been crazy. Lining up moving company quotes, getting packed, finding a rental home, finding new doctors (pediatrician, primary care, dentist, etc). It's exhausting.

Especially when Matthew is now an expert at rolling over from his back to his tummy but can't always go from tummy to back so he cries b/c he doesn't like to be on his tummy for to long. And of course a few seconds after I help him roll on his back again...he rolls right back over to him tummy. He loves the floor mat though so that's where he is most of the time...practicing rolling over and starting the first stages of crawling. He scoots instead of actually crawling. This kid cracks me up...he gets so frustrated. He just wants to move move move...He is determined to run circles around me in the near future. I have to be careful...b/c if i don't pay attention he'll be halfway across the room and no where near his floor mat or blanket. *Andrew still has no interest in going anywhere :-) So I run from packing a box, to washing my hands to helping Matthew out all day long (repeat x200). My hands are shredded from being washed so often. Total Insanity.

Since I talked about Matthew I have to share about Andrew too. He may not being rolling over or showing any signs of crawling but he sure can chit chat. He's incredibly expressive. He loves to babble on and on. And he laughs...oh how he laughs. I just love his big belly laugh. I pick him up and dance around the room w/ him and he laughs hysterically. He's never neutral. He is either screaming to be held or has a big smile on his face. My favorite time of day w/ Andrew is in the morning when I first get him out of the crib. He is so darn happy. Its completely contagious.

I started the boys on solids for the very first time last week (rice cereal). It came as a surprise to me that Matthew liked it better than Andrew. Andrew is my big boy that likes to eat. But...no it was Matthew that opened wide and wanted more. Andrew was confused on what to do w/ it once it was in his mouth. So...we're just tasting it each day and getting a few teaspoons down.

One other note... For those of you who have followed my blog. Both boys had fluid in their kidneys that showed up on prenatal ultrasounds. Matthews were clear after birth but Andrews wasn't. So Andrew has a voiding cystogram @ Valley Children's Hospital that showed reflux. He's on a daily dose of antibiotics for this (to prevent urinary and kidney infections) and hopefully it'll resolve by itself with time. The urologist (wonderful lady) said that any siblings would have a 40% of having reflux when their brother/sister does. So..they said to test Matthew even though we thought he was fine. Well...it came back that he has reflux too. Both have it in the left kidney and pretty much to the same severity. Grade 2 for Andrew and Grade 2.5 for Matthew. Grade 1 is the most minor and Grade 5 is the worst. Grades 4 & 5 almost always needs surgery. We were also told that their (Andrew and Matthews) offspring will have a 60% of having it. Interesting on how it's hereditary. I wonder if it was passed down from me or J.

And that's my update. Off to pack some more boxes....

5 Month Pics...

Since you asked... you shall receive :-)




Matthew on left, Andrew on right

5 Months Old...

Today Andrew and Matthew turned 5 months old. It seems like I wrote their 4 month post just last week. I am doing much better this week. Thanks for all of the support! We got out of the house this weekend. It was all four of us but that was fine. Just leaving the house and seeing a change of scenery was great. We went and stocked up on diapers that were on sale and bought a bunch of organic baby food that I had coupons for. They were about to expire so I needed to use them. We also had a showing for our house this weekend while J was home. We didn't have much notice so we had to clean everything up really quickly...plus it was raining so we needed to take the dogs with us when we left. We had to get all of us ready to leave, including the dogs... and our backyard was starting to flood from the rain (ugh) so it was major chaos. J got pretty frustrated and although I didn't enjoy his frustration, I felt validated on how much of a pain it is to have the house up for sale. I know he understands and appreciates all I do and that makes such a difference. Just as I appreciate how hard he works for our family. He works 11 hour days (plus a commute) and most Saturdays to bring in extra income right now.

I have also been trying really hard to eat better. It only makes sense that I'll be more easily irritated if I am not properly nourished. On Sunday I made dinner while J cut a bunch of veggies and put them in some Tupperware containers for me to eat during the week. So I can just grab the tub out of the fridge and either throw some of the stuff on a tortilla or on bread to make a veggie sandwich or I can just eat it w/ dip. I have no excuse now b/c it's ready and easy to put together. I'm pretty picky w/ what I eat (not a big meat eater) and love veggie sandwiches so this is great (and healthy). For example... I put red onion, red bell peppers (roasted is best), tomatoes, sprouts (avocado if available) and cream cheese on wheat bread or rolls that are toasted w/ vinaigrette drizzled all over it (grilled egg plant is also excellent) and then I'll eat broccoli and cauliflower w/ melted cheese as a side dish. Yum ...I used to eat this several times a week and need to get back into doing it.

J also offered to take over last night once we went to sleep (and I accepted) so I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night or early this morning. He had to get up w/ Andrew at 2am and with Matthew at 4am. After that he was up to start his day since he leaves for work at 5am... so I'm sure he's very tired today. I was able to stay in bed until 6am so that was beyond nice. I feel refreshed. J and I both realize that he actually handles sleep deprivation much better than I do. I feel like crap if I get less than 7 hours. Which means I fall into the feeling like crap category pretty often. If I get 7 then I'm terrific. And it has to be 7... 6 hours doesn't cut it. J seems to do just fine if he gets at least 5 hours straight. He would like 7 or more but functions well on five. How...I have no idea. It seems like I should be the one that handles less sleep better. Women actually require less sleep than men in general and I'm also more physically fit than J at the moment. So what gives?

Anyway... I feel like I got my vent off my chest and that I was "heard" which is important. I'm a lucky girl to have a husband that listens and immediately tries to make things better for me.


And now...on to 5 month milestones:

• Matthew rolled over for the first time two weeks ago. He has proceeded to roll over several more times (from back to tummy and tummy to back). He rocks from side to side non-stop all day long and gets frustrated when he can't make it all the way over. He also wiggles all over the floor mat so I have to keep a close eye on him b/c he manages to move right off it.
• Andrew has absolutely no interest in rolling over at this time :-) He loves to jump up and down and all around in his exerciser though.
• Both babies are getting much better at grasping and holding things. They will hold a small stuffed animal or a rattle.
  
• Both boys have gone from 6 bottles a day to 5 and occasionally they only drink 4. Each bottle has 5.5 to 6 ounces in it. So they are actually drinking less total then they did at 3 months.
  
• Each only produces a poopy diaper once a day and they sometimes even skip a day. This makes the majority of diaper changes much quicker.
  
• Andrew now drinks from a stage 3 bottle nipple and can finish an entire bottle in 2 or 3 mins. He literally gulps it down but has no issues with drinking that fast other than a big belch afterwards. Matthew is on a stage 2 nipple and it takes him about 15-20 minutes to eat. I read that 15 mins is about how long it should take a baby to eat from a bottle or you should consider a different sized nipple. We really had no choice but to move Andrew to a stage 3 nipple. It took him 30-45 mins to eat from a stage 2... and now down to 3 mins w/ a stage 3. He never became very efficient at sucking and now it basically pours right into his mouth. I wish there were something in between a stage 2 and stage 3, but as long as he seems okay I guess we'll just continue to eat super fast. (which is great when Matthew is waiting for Andrew to finish so he can eat)
• Andrew is just about to move up to size 3 diapers. Matthew will continue to wear a size 2 for a while.
  
• Both are awake for much longer during the day. We have lots of activity and play time.
  
• Mornings are our favorite time of day. Both seem to be extremely happy and talkative in the morning. Andrew gets so excited and laughs when I go to get him out of the crib in the morning.
  
• The babies no longer sleep in their "sleep positioners". They still share a crib in our room but that will change in a month or so. We'll move them to their nursery and into separate cribs at that point.
  
• We swaddle the babies w/ their arms out now. Matthew hates being swaddled so it doesn't make sense to do it anymore. We still swaddle his body so that he doesn't kick off the blanket at night and get cold. I just ordered these ... (https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/?product_id=14) for the boys to sleep in and once they arrive we will stop swaddling completely. I love this product idea b/c it reduces the risk of SIDS b/c you won't need loose blankets in the crib anymore and it'll keep your baby from kicking their blanket off at night.
  
• No solids yet. They just don't seem ready and every time I start thinking about trying out rice cereal...I read "again" somewhere that you should wait if they aren't showing all of signs for being ready. They aren't sitting up well yet, they show no interest in what I eat and they are still satisfied w/ formula alone. So it looks like we'll be waiting until 6 months to try out solids.
  
• Still no teeth. We're drooling more so maybe sometime in the near future? I actually love their gummy smiles so I'm in no hurry for their teeth to come in. Pus we're sleeping better and I am not looking forward to any teething issues.
• And I love these boys even more now that I did last month which I would have though was impossible. I just pray everyday that they grow up happy and healthy.
  

Vent Session*

Yes, I know I signed up for being a stay at home Mom...even a SAHM w/ twins. I wanted this more than anything. I still do. I love it. I love time w/ my two darlings. I try really hard to be the best I can be w/ them. I want to be better than any day care or nanny. These are my kids. I play w/ them... plan activity time...exercise time. I even gave them full body, ten minute massages yesterday that they loved. It is my job to have them thrive...to be stimulated...to grow strong and healthy. I think I'm pretty good at this job. This is a full time job w/ loads of overtime.

It's everything else that has me frustrated and irritated to no end. I want to be super woman and do it all but really we all have limits. I could skimp on the mothering and let them lay in their bouncers longer or have them nap longer during the day (which in turn means really lousy nights) or something has to give. Currently I take care of almost 5 month old twins... this includes twice weekly on average medical appts that have been piling up like mad. We have physical therapy, we have Children's Valley Hospital, we have monthly immunizations due to our personal vaccine schedule, check-ups, etc...etc... not to mention my own appts on top of that. So lets see....the short "daily" list w/ parenting infant twins...includes, cleaning and making bottles, feedings, burpings, diaper changes, comforting (lots of comforting and soothing), stimulating and entertaining, etc...etc...

On top of this... we have our house listed for sale. I have to spend an hour or two minimum every morning running around like crazy... trying to get everything perfect. I make the bed, I clean all the counter tops, I vacuum, I dust, I pick up dog poop outside...then before an actual showing... I run around and hide anything and everything. DO YOU KNOW what a pain in my ass this is w/ two babies. We have exercisers to hide in the garage...bouncy seats to hide in the closet, toys to throw in the playpen... dog and cat bowls (even a litter box) to hide so its not so obvious we have so many "inside"pets.... then the dogs are even hidden. They go in the dog run on the side of the house or if its raining like yesterday I actually put them in the car and park it on the side of the street. I usually don't leave during a showing b/c its just to difficult but I try to have the babies fed and diapered so they're in happy moods. Then we pace around waiting for the expectant "buyer" so that right after they leave I can get all of the baby stuff out again and we can get on w/ our regularly scheduled program. As you can see we're desperate to sell our house.

And let's see... on top of the above mentioned. I handle all of the bills..including medical claims. The bills aren't too big a deal... but the calls to the insurance about incorrect claims have definitely raised my blood pressure a time or two. In fact I had a call in to them yesterday and am waiting on a response. I also make my husbands lunch every single day. Not a big deal..but I take a little time w/ it b/c I try to have cut up vegetables, a dairy product, a healthy sandwich, etc. all ready for him. I also try and succeed most of the time at having something ready for dinner. It is usually simple but I try. I also feed and take care of the pets. This means the daily poop clean up outside and feedings. I try to spend a little time nurturing and petting them too since they've lost their ranking big time in the household since the twins have arrived. They went from being extremely spoiled to being on the side lines now and I feel bad about that.

So many of these things are "not a big deal" but when they are all added up they are a big deal. I know I'm not even listing everything. I just know I'm getting so irritated. And it's pretty much taken out on my husband. He works long days...really long days to provide for our family so I really can't complain that he's doing nothing. He's great w/ the kids...great w/ me...etc. But... oh man.. when we go to bed two hours after he gets home and he starts snoring loudly the minute his head hits the pillow.. I am so annoyed. I lay there night after night w/ thoughts running through my head. I think about the day...about what needs to be done tomorrow. I worry about our house situation. I think...I think when I should be sleeping. I think. He snores. So irritating. When J gets home...he eats. I rarely eat. That is my fancy trick for being so skinny (sorry to disappoint you all)... I forget to eat. He comes home some days and I realize that I've had nothing to eat but some crackers all day... I've made him lunch and dinner but when it comes to me... nada. Is this J's fault...NO. J's also regular in the bathroom dept. I'm not...so totally not. Good thing b/c I don't have time to go #2. J gets that bathroom visit each night after dinner. (TMI)

so what is my point... I'm jealous over J going to the bathroom... everyday. How sad is that. He gets to read a magazine in there. I ordered a book a month ago b/c I want to be a part of a book club and I have yet to read past the first page. Who am I kidding... I will never be able to read that book. I have two months of magazines that I've never had a chance to look at. I get irritated when J's sleeping and I'm worrying over every little thing. How unfair is that...so do I want both of us tossing and turning w/ worry? I actually feel guilty and then mad for feeling guilty for asking J to watch the kids so I can take shower. My down-time is washing my dirty hair and shaving my hairy legs 2x week. Or when I get lucky and J watches the boys so I can get out to do the grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. And even worse when I get home and the babies have been sleeping for two hours so I'm right back on duty the second I get home.

Do you see the problem? This isn't J's fault but I'm frustrated and I'm taking it out on him. He has so little free time too... So there is no answer... no solution to this situation and I just want to cry b/c right now...this very second... I need to be cleaning the house and here I am wasting time writing on my blog.

And I have another Freaking HEADACHE!


*(Written a few hours later) This is what I needed today. To vent. I needed to let it all out and let it go so that tomorrow I can have a better day. There is a solution. It will get better. We'll either sell the house or we won't but having it on the market will be temporary. I enjoy the kids more each day... they are truly incredible. The slightest thought of not having them breaks me out in cold sweats. And J... what can I say. I am so lucky to have J. He is so understanding. He has a side too... I'm sure his vent would be longer than mine :-) but we love one another and we will look back on all this and see many more good days than bad.

Nearing 5 Months

Not a whole lot to report. My parents came down for a visit this weekend. So J and I went to see the movie "Definitely, Maybe" and had a late lunch afterwards. Movie was decent...not great but entertaining enough. It was extremely nice to get out and have some time alone w/ J. Lately I've been trying to just get out of the house more. Last week I took the boys on a walk almost everyday. It just breaks up the day which I find important b/c sometimes my days blur together with the endless 3-4 hour cycles of care that repeat over and over.

Now I enjoy "field trips" of my choosing for an errand or to get a coffee at Starbucks, but the medical appts are becoming daunting. The pediatrician we have is very cautious and I appreciate that. But what comes along with that is lot of visits to specialists to play it on the safe side. I pretty much set myself up for all of these appts when I express worry and anxiety over every tiny thing that has to do with the boys. So for example, I started to notice that Andrew has the start of a little flattening on the back of his head. So that led to seeing a specialist to see if he needed a helmet to correct whats called flat head syndrome. The pediatrician said it was very minor and he doubted that we would even be considered a candidate for a helmet but I had to be sure. I don't exactly want my kid walking around w/ a deformed head because I don't do tummy time enough. So the specialist pretty much laughed at me and said we in no way needed to be there and that Andrew looks great.... but that he'd have me come back in a month to reassure me that it hasn't gotten worse. More examples include the worry that Andrew looks one direction more than the other...so that lead to physical therapy 2x week to strengthen his neck muscles. Physical therapist said its very minor but we'll work on it to be on the safe side. And can I say that physical therapy w/ a baby is ridiculous. He kept crying and all she did was hand him back to me b/c she couldn't get him calm enough to do any exercises. Another example... Andrew has the kidney reflux and that is hereditary which means Matthew has a 40% chance of having it. This signed me up for more appts at Valley Children's hospital to have Matthew tested. The list goes on and on. So am I being paranoid or a very good and protective mother. Maybe a little of both I think.

On my medical front...I have the start of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I've been waking up w/ my fingers and palm all numb and tingly. Like my hand is asleep and it shakes off within 5 mins of waking but when I mentioned this to my doctor she immediately said it's Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and that I need to start wearing a wrist brace at night so it doesn't get any worse. It's probably due to the fact that I'm carrying around a baby for most of the day. I have one of them constantly propped up on my shoulder.

Doctor also wants me to try *Ela.vil out for my chronic headaches. This is an anti-depressant but its prescribed sometimes for headache suffers. She said she's found it to be successful at helping many of her patients. I'm not thrilled. I just don't like the idea of being on an anti-depressant (when I'm not depressed) and all the side effects that usually go along w/ those.



J and I


Our Family

4 1/2 months

My CAT Scan came back normal. I guess thats good news but I was actually disappointed that they didn't find something that could be "fixed" so my headaches would go away or lessen. My head X-rays show moderate inflammation of my sinuses (Sinusitis) but I've been told by my physician that Sinusitis is difficult to treat. I have a physical w/ my primary care doctor next Monday so I'm hoping that she'll at least have something new for me to try...for both my migraines and daily headaches.

Andrew and Matthew are 4 1/2 months old now. I enjoy each day more than the previous one. And just when I think they couldn't possibly get any cuter...wham...they are cuter than ever. I love the laughing... the giggles and chuckles. I can't get enough of it. I spend the majority of the day trying to get one more laugh or enormous smile. We all have a pretty good routine down and it doesn't vary much. We do the eat, activity/play time, nap, eat, activity/play time, nap...over and over again. The activity time gets longer and longer each week. Right now we play anywhere from an hour to two hours at a stretch. Usually we play in the exercisers, then go to mat/ activity gym time and sometimes into the playpen depending on our mood. Matthew almost always goes straight into nap time after playing. Whereas Andrew needs to cuddle and be held for at least 10-15 mins before being put down.

Andrew is definitely my cuddle baby. He soft and round w/ many rolls and a big Buddha belly. He likes lots of attention and isn't going to be rolling over or crawling anytime soon. He just wants you to hold him and if he's playing he's more interested in watching everything than in trying to move around. I actually call him my drama baby now. He's so passionate about his feelings. He'll be deliriously happy and have this intoxicating laugh and smile that lights up his whole face. He'll laugh and laugh (a full belly laugh)...and a mil-second later he's needy and crying to be held. He'll want to be held close and hear me sing nursery rhymes while we snuggle. If he doesn't get this right away he'll scream...blood curling screams that cause tears to stream down his face. In fact he'll start to hyper-ventilate b/c he forgets to breathe between sobs. I actually have to laugh sometimes b/c he's so quick to go from one to the other and flop back and forth between the two. Mr. Drama baby that one.

Matthew is very different from his brother. They are definitely two separate little guys w/ very distinct personalities. Matthew is much more active and independent. Matthew is long and lean... he looks so skinny next to his brother. They are actually only 1.5 pounds apart but on a baby it looks like a lot. Matthew can play independently for a long time and he is desperate to roll over. He rolls onto his side non-stop. And you can see him struggling to make that last push to flop all the way over. When I help him complete the roll from his side to his tummy he's so happy. He'll be rolling over any day now. He also "swims" while on his tummy. You can see that crawling won't be far off either. Matthew still spits up like crazy whereas his brother keeps down every drop. When Matthew falls asleep in my arms it's extra special to me b/c normally he gets "squirmy" after a while and seems to like relaxing in his bouncy seat more than being held. I can already picture him saying "down" when I try holding him once he starts talking. He does like time in the baby bjorn carrier and loves it when you lay next to him on the ground or talk to him when he's in the swing or bouncer. He'll stare right at you w/ those big blue eyes and try to mimic your expressions. Sometimes he looks so serious. Matthew was my more difficult baby in the beginning but I think it was all due to the reflux. So now that we have him on Zantac he's pretty easy most of the time. He's very easy to read. If he's crying it's because he's hungry or has a dirty diaper. Otherwise he's fine. He likes to play and he'll go down for a nap easily. Although Matthew is the more "independent" one at this stage...I'd also say he has a shy side to him. Or it appears that way. He likes to hide his face. When you hold him he burrows his face in your chest. It makes you wonder if he can breath. And when he smiles he looks bashful. He gets this big grin and then turns his face a little like he's embarrassed. I'm sure none of this is actually true...but it's how it looks.

As far as sleeping goes. On a good night they go 8 or even 9 hours. (from the start of one feed to the next) On a bad night it's usually 5. I'd say they typically go 7 hours. And it's never the same one that consistently wake us up. They seem to take turns. Sometimes we're curious on just how long they would sleep if we fed the one that wakes and not the other. But, we almost always regret doing this when the other wakes up 30-60 mins after the first. So we normally feed both in the hopes that we can feed them quickly and get a little more sleep before we start our day.

***BTW we had our first two vaccinations at their 4 month check up and it went much better than I expected. They cried for a minute or two and that was it. I've had a few people interested in how we decided on our vaccination schedule. If you have any questions and want to know where we gathered our information...please e-mail me so I can respond to you privately. My e-mail can be found on my profile page. This reminds me... At just over 4 months....Matthew weighed in at 14 pounds (24.6 inches) and Andrew was a whopping 15 pounds 10 oz (25 inches).



Andrew




Matthew

4 Months Old

My babies turned four months old on Sunday. I'm noticing more changes these days. They're reaching more and more developmental milestones.


As of four months:

• we're usually eating about 5oz six times a day. And normally the last feeding is increased to 6oz in hopes of sleeping longer through the night.
• Our diapers are changed 6 times/day and we only poop once a day now.
  
• We wear size 2 diapers.
  
• we have our last feeding between 7-8pm and then wake up hungry around 2-3am. We are fed and put back down to sleep until our next feeding around 6am. Then we start our day.
• We still share a crib that is in the master bedroom. In another month or so we'll be in our own separate cribs and in the nursery at night.
• We have a nighttime routine that includes swaddling, white noise and sleeping in our crib. We are only in our cribs at night. We tried to stop swaddling and we weren't ready to give that up yet.
  
• We are still restless at night and Daddy is the one that usually gets up to give us our pacifier or to check on us. Mommy is lucky to have Daddy.
• We like sucking on our pacifiers. Andrew especially. Mommy worries that we'll still be sucking on them when we're three years old.
  
• We have almost outgrown our infant bathtub. We splash water all over the place during bath time.
• We now recognize Mommy's face and voice and we mimic her expressions.
• We have a daily routine that is a constant cycle of feeding, burping, diaper change, activity time and then nap...then we start over again
  
• We can play and entertain ourselves in our exercisers for up to an hour. We love to bounce up and down. Matthew lasts much longer than Andrew before becoming bored or fussy. We also love to look at ourselves in the mirror. And just recently we realized that we can touch the rattle and have it make a noise. (Matthew has been playing in his exerciser for 90 mins and just now fell asleep in there)
  
• We smile all of the time and actually laugh out loud.
• We also "talk" constantly.
• We do not roll over from a laying down position and haven't attempted it either. We can occasionally when we are propped up in the boppy pillows on our stomachs.
  
• We dislike tummy-time greatly. Mommy has to distract/entertain us constantly in order for us to be on our tummy even 5 mins. We don't get much tummy time.
  
• We still have yet to try anything other than milk (breast milk or formula). Mommy is still debating on when to try out the rice cereal &/or solid foods. Mommy has many food allergies and she fears that early introduction of foods could increase our chances of having them too.
• Daddy packs one of us around in the baby Bjorn carrier when he gets home from work. Mommy doesn't use it much b/c it hurts her back.
  
• We will be getting our first immunizations tomorrow. Mommy and Daddy decided to put them off a little and we'll be spacing them out. So we'll only get the HIB and IPV (polio) vaccines tomorrow. We'll alternate that series of shots w/ the DTaP series (starting next month). All of the other immunizations will be put off until we're a little older.
• Daddy set up our 529 college savings plans this past month. So we're already being prepped for college :-)

***I will update later this week on how the immunizations go. J will be going with me. He's taking the day off because I'll be having a CAT scan later on in the day. I had some x-rays of my head come back abnormal last month so they want me to have a CAT scan. I hoping this might lead to some answers on why I have such horrible headaches. I have daily (5 out of 7 days/week on average) headaches that cause moderate but manageable pain and then severe migraines on top of that. My primary physician was concerned when I mentioned it a few years ago. I've lived with this a very long time...since high school. My doctor said it wasn't normal and not okay to ignore so I agreed to look into some testing after my pregnancy. I wasn't willing to worry about it during my infertility treatments so now that we're past all of that maybe we can find a cause and a cure to my headache issues. I am crossing my fingers that they do indeed find something as long as it's easily treatable/curable. I'm not holding any high expectations though since headaches run in my family and no one else has found a magic cure.

Rice cereal coming soon

My twins will be 4 months old in a few days. I'd like to try rice cereal sometime in the next few weeks. We've done nothing but milk up to now. So...I'd like to know all about your experiences w/ introductions to foods and how it went. What worked for you and what didn't? How did you start? At this point I'm thinking I'll start w/ a tiny amount of rice cereal... isn't it one teaspoon of rice cereal to 4 teaspoons of formula to start with? Is there any reason to start w/ putting it in the bottle vs. spoon feeding them? Do you just do this once a day to start and then increase to several times a day? I really have no idea. I guess you can just judge based on how they respond.
I'll see how rice cereal goes and once they have that down... I'll move on to vegetables and then fruits. Supposedly you want to start w/ vegetables b/c babies already favor sweet tastes and it will be harder to get them to eat vegetables if they eat fruits first. I hear you should only do one type of food for 3-5 days before moving onto another to make sure there are no allergies. I also read that it's best to introduce the new food in the morning or at lunch so that you can look for an allergic reaction all day before they go to sleep at night.

I don't know how I'll feed them..meaning where. I guess I could put them in their highchairs but they aren't sitting up on their own yet so that may not work. I have bouncy seats that might work. Should I spend the money and buy bumbo seats? This is when I'll be extra grateful for having dogs...to eat all of the dropped food.

So...did you experience an increase in how long your baby slept at night after introducing foods? I was told by my doctor that babies do not sleep longer w/ the introduction of rice cereal but I know several Moms that would swear that there children did.

Focusing on the bright side.

Have I mentioned how cute my boys are? They are so adorable, cuddly and funny. I can't get enough of them. I just hold them, squeeze them and kiss their squishy cheeks non-stop. I dread the day that they turn and run when they see that their Mom is about to love on them. That will be a sad day indeed. So I've got to get it all in while I can.

From the sound of this post can you tell that I lived through my migraine and having J out of town? I survived...even though I was sure at the time that I would never make it through to see another day. The boys got fed, had clean diapers and I tried very hard to give them play time even w/ the jack hammer pounding away in my head. J came home a day early since I basically threatened the future existence of his boy parts... and the moment I saw him I forgot everything except how happy I was that he was home.

I forgot all about how pissed I was that he got to be at the beach in storm conditions for vacation work in an awesome hotel w/ no nighttime feedings (working around the clock) while his wife slaved away in poor health and barely managed to shower. I forgave him the minute I saw him...and was so so so happy. Aren’t I the nicest wife alive?

I just rock. And to add to the nicest wife part...I saved us mucho money by staying on our medical insurances ass.... We were getting outrageous bills from the twins NICU hospital stay. Even though we were at an in-network hospital...they charged us for out-of-network providers that treated the boys while they were there. Not okay to charge someone out of network fees while they were preformed for emergency services in a pre-approved stay in-network hospital. After many idiot customer service calls, tales of how it was our responsibility, our cost, then unfulfilled promises to fix it, loooooong waits on hold, etc. etc... I finally got it all cleared up. Yes- I deserve large shiny expensive somethings for my effort :-)

Since I'm on the topic of how wonderful I am... I need this topic today. I have to post a little something that will annoy many of you. So don't hate me b/c I feel that I deserve this after the many crappy things I've gone through. So here goes (my blog readers are going to disappear over-night) I was pregnant w/ twins and somehow managed to not get one stretch mark and currently my size 2 pants are a little big. I have no idea how I managed to do this b/c I didn't watch what I ate when I was pregnant. In fact I ate fast food for the first time in forever. And I lost it all w/ out trying. I was back to my original weight at my 3 week post baby appt and now I weigh less than I did pre-pregnancy. Pretty much due to the fact that I have no time to eat..let alone cook. Now to be completely honest...my body is not what it used to be. My boobs are definitely less firm that before and my waist is not as defined. But, I had so much fear from reading about others experiences w/ twin pregnancy that I was sure I'd be carrying around 50 extra pounds right now and have huge angry red stretch marks from my neck to my knees and it just didn't happen.

If this makes you feel bad...don't... b/c I need some positives right now....let me leave you on this sucky note. We live in California and got into the housing market in late 2004 (housing peak) for a criminal amount of money for what we actually got.... and it's now 2008 (housing slump/crisis). Talk about a poor investment. It's just painful.




Matthew and Andrew (best investment ever)



Don't quite have the sitting up thing down yet. We're working on it.

Seeking something...anything

I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm actually crying right now...got less than 3 interrupted hours of sleep last night, have a bad bad bad migraine and my husband has been and will continue to be out of town working for the rest of the week. I am completely and totally alone. I have one of those migraines where you get the aura (spots of light), nausea and a blinding headache. I've taken several Imitrix and it isn't helping. I'm stressed, totally sleep deprived and I think the babies can sense it b/c they are so fussy. Matthew cried all night long. I was up pacing with him non-stop all night...must have walked many miles. I had to throw him on his bouncer (screaming) so I could run to the toilet to vomit and then run back to pick him up to continue pacing.

I realize I have no support system here at all. We have no family here. My parents are almost four hours away. We moved here three years ago and I haven't made that many friends. My closest local friend moved away several months ago...another one is sick right now and anyone else I know works and has their own family to take care of. There is no one I can call to help out for a few hours.

*My sick friend just came by wearing a face mask so she wouldn't get us sick. She's going to pick up and go fill Matthews prescription for Zantac since he's basically out. Bless her. One thing I won't have to worry about.

All I know is...J's check better be huge! He's making all double time pay and is working extremely long shifts w/ short rest periods in between. He was called up to Northern California b/c of the recent storms. He's an electric engineer for a utility company and I guess there are tons of people without power so J's pretty busy trying to help out. They told him it would be 3 days so I'm a little annoyed to put it mildly that its going way past that.

Matthews calling...better go.

3 months old already...

My babies turned 3 months old yesterday. It seems like the days are just flying by and they're getting so much bigger. I want it all to slow down. Well..I'll keep the fact that they're going longer at night now but the rest of it can slow down :-) I already had to get my 3-6 month old clothing ready. They'll be switching to that size soon. They are also about to outgrow size 1 diapers.

I just love being a Mother. Nothing in the world even comes close to filling me with such joy and fulfillment. If J and I had loads of money than we'd try and have a house full of children. Four...four would be nice. More than that and I might not have the quality time I'd want to spend with each one. We won't be having four children. The number one reason is because we can't afford it. Maybe if we lived in a 900 sq ft house and all shared one bed or moved to the mid-west. (we'd also have to get pregnant naturally "ha ha" b/c more IVF fees are not in our budget) Even then we wouldn't be able to offer them the opportunity to have some of their university fees paid for or have any family vacations. That wouldn't be fair. I don't want that. I look forward to trips to Disneyland, the beach, skiing, etc. So that leaves the discussion of what about a 3rd...a 3rd child. J thinks odds numbers are bad. One of the children will feel left out...most likely the 3rd one since the first two are twins and are likely to have a special bond. I'm actually quite annoyed that I'm having this discussion right now but I have to. You see...we have one lone embryo on ice. Just one (day 6 excellent quality blast) and the year long storage contract is up next month. We have to decide if we're going to pay $1500 to store it for one more year. After that you have to move it to another storage facility b/c Dr. Z won't store for more than 2 years total. The thoughts of how that embryo could be another Matthew or Andrew filter through my mind. What if they were the one sitting in storage and waiting for us to make a decision. I cannot imagine life without them. It brings tears to my eyes even thinking about it. It's sad that I even have to think about such things. I just want to enjoy my babies. My two beautiful sons that we worked so hard to get. I just went through 9 rough months and many infertility treatments for goodness sakes. If I never see another needle it'll be too soon. If we had no embryos on ice than I wouldn't be thinking of this. If we wanted to have another child later down the road then we'd go off birth control and see what happened. I wouldn't expect a miracle but you never know and I'd be fine with whatever cards we were dealt. I never want to put my body through another infertility treatment. I want to enjoy my life. I felt like my life was on hold these past two years while our entire focus was on conceiving.

So what to do? We've pretty much decided to pay for another year of storage. What's another $1500 in the scheme of things. We just paid that amount on a repair for our car. And I truly can't bear the thought of having that embryo destroyed. We actually have it being donated to science if we don't keep up the contract but the end result is the same. So now...in one years time we'll have to sit down and have this discussion again. Will we move it to a storage facility or actually attempt a frozen cycle when my boys are just over a year old. Dr. Z told us we'd have a 90% chance of this one embryo surviving the thaw process and then a 25% chance of it implanting and going all the way to birth. I think my biggest fear is what this embryo will bring out in me. I will most likely want to try using it. I'll want to give that embryo a chance. Now...the question is will I be able to leave it at that? And what all will this one embryo entail. Will I have to do IVIg (immune suppression), and all of the other medications again? What if it doesn't work (25% success means a 75% chance of failure). Will I be okay with that?... or will I be baby crazy once again and wanting to do anything to have another. I don't think that'll happen but what if it did? That wouldn't be fair to my children or my husband or to myself.

I wish I was just done. That I knew 100% that I didn't want any more children. This entire topic makes me so uncomfortable right now. I'm so lucky to have my two sons. I hate that part of me wished we didn't have that one frozen embryo b/c then I wouldn't be having this debate in my head. God- that sounds so selfish. I should be so thankful that I have one to use if we want to later on. I am thankful...don't get me wrong. I just wish Dr. Z gave you two years of storage initially so you didn't have to think about this right after giving birth.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow did I get off topic or what. Back to my 3 month old boys. Matthew still spits up like crazy but doesn't seem as unhappy now that he's on Zantac twice a day. He's smiling more often and loves to hear his mother singing to him. Andrew still takes a long time to eat but once he's done he rarely spits up. He smiles non-stop especially when he looks at the "wall hanging" that is above the changing table. He just loves looking at it. It's so cute to see his wide eyed joy.

At this point Andrew's eyes have started to change color. They are turning more brown. Matthew still has bright blue eyes. I think there's a good chance he'll keep them. He's definitely much fairer in coloring that his brother. Andrew has the olive skin and darker hair whereas Matthew has the lighter skin, dark blonde hair and blue eyes.

The nighttime sleeping has gotten much better lately. We've had a couple of six hour stretches and even one or two seven hour stretches. Of course this is from the start of the feeding to the start of the next feeding so by the time they finish eating, get burped, changed and settled for the night we have only 5-6 hours but that is still a HUGE improvement over those 1-3 hour stretches we were getting the first two months. So they are actually eating less than they were a month ago since we've lost one of the feedings. So at this point we're doing an average of 5 ounces 6 times a day.

Next week I take Andrew to Valley Children's hospital again to have his kidney checked. I really hope the fluid has gone down. They will be during some more intensive testing to see what's causing the fluid buildup. I believe they'll be doing some X-rays (u/s) while a catheter is inserted. Hopefully its not painful for my little guy.

I hope all of you had a very Merry Christmas. This was a special year for us. Babies first Christmas and all. I look forward to the years to come and all of the many memories we'll be making.