up and down and around we go...
Went to acupuncture yesterday before my IUI. Somehow, I managed to stay relaxed throughout the entire IUI and on the trip home and I give all of the credit to the acupuncture. But to be totally honest, I was a little disappointed at J's count. It went down a lot this month. It was 24 million before the wash and 12 million after w/ 90% motility. The nurse told me that we wouldn't ever get pregnant on our own w/ those numbers. That we have to continue w/ the IUI's or move on to IVF. It just hurt to hear her say that. Basically I have no choice but to continue these horrible treatments if we ever want to have a child. And why are his counts so all over the place? We’ve had two s/a’s that were in the lower normal range… those should be enough to get me knocked up. So- is it my mild endometriosis on top of low sperm counts… or what? Also- can I ask you what tests your men did if they have male factor… J went to an urologist and they did an u/s but nothing else. Shouldn’t he have blood tests done? My RE only focuses on me and not J. Sometimes I think we’re missing something.
We've had 5 IUI's now and the numbers have steadily increased each time until this one. The first month was 4 million (after wash) and last cycle it was 35 or so million. If it was 35 million last month and I didn't get pregnant, than is there any way 12 million could do the trick? I've had J on Fertility Blend for Men for 6 months now and I thought that may be the reason that his count has gone up. Why the sudden drop? I have no idea. J is under a lot of stress right now. He's working a ton of overtime and his current position sucks big time. He's an engineer and has been forced into a customer service type position that is dreadful (He does mostly customer service instead of the engineering that he likes to do). J is a rock solid type of guy that doesn't let things get him riled up. He's an easy going person. So- I was really worried to hear him admit that he was having bouts of anxiety... like little chest pains. I actually gave him one of my Zanax(anxiety med) and he took it. This is a man that doesn't take meds or get medical treatment unless absolutely necessary or forcibly dragged. He found out he'll be transferring in the beginning of Oct so his position should end up being a lot better and back to what they hired him for (no customer service) after he's at the new office. But, the new office won't offer any overtime and we have no idea if it will stay that way. That hurts money wise. We're saving everything we can for IVF but the money isn't piling up like we'd like. We'll have to borrow a lot from the bank *sigh* It also doesn't help when I hand over $70 for every u/s and $225 for every IUI. Those costs start to add up. It took the nurse all of 5 mins to do my $225 IUI yesterday and I just hated handing over all of that money for such a small chance of success. I feel like I should be saving it all for IVF instead.
To make matters worse for J and me... we were told to "get it on" last night and again this morning. My female region was tender and aching and J was not in a mood to be forced to perform. It just didn't work out... we tried again this morning and again...it didn't work out. I was almost in tears, J felt badly. How horrible! Not exactly how sex is supposed to be. I hate this. And I have to say that I question the medical advice of "getting it on" when one's anatomy is in so much discomfort. Can it be conducive to procreating when it hurts like a *bleep*! -
*ugh* you guys know how it is. I'm trying to stay relaxed and be in a good mental place. Damn it's hard! I think I've done pretty well this month. Much better than previous one's. But- there are still those moments- those gut wrenching moments of just praying and wishing that you could have your turn at Motherhood.
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on another note- I haven't been commenting on your blogs as much and I'm sorry. For some reason only some of my linked blogs were updating. So I thought a bunch of you were taking a break from posting regularly. When I finally started to wonder I refreshed all of the blogs and a bunch of missed posts popped up. I missed over 2 weeks of posts from Serenity. I have no idea why this happened. Maybe a blogger issue?
posted by Keeping The Faith @ 2:29 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
12 million post wash with 90% motility still gives you a chance, especially with IUI. But I can absolutely understand your questioning - "if last cycle didn't work, how can it work this cycle?" I think the only way you can look at it is a numbers game - pure statistics.
Sperm count *can* wax and wane, no one can give me a good reason, either - I've asked J's urologist AND our RE. Apparently it just is.
Also - J did get a whole blood hormone workup to rule out any hormonal factors which were causing his low counts. We were lucky in that they saw right away that there was a structural issue (a varicocele). It doesn't seem right that they haven't done any blood tests.
*Sigh* I am so sorry you are in such a negative place right now, Faith. Having to make these decisions just sucks.
Hug and much love to you. I will be hoping that this is the IUI which brings you your baby.
I am wishing you all kinds of luck with this IUI, at mine I didn't even ask for J's count since it was low I would be a mess for 2weeks. Ignorance was *bliss* for me.
I know you are worried, but there is always a chance that it worked and I am hoping that your baby is on the way, goodness knows you deserve it.
HUGS and GOOD LUCK
Kir
Good luck with this IUI. I hope that it works and you don't have to move to IVF.
I've also read that sperm counts change. Also, it takes about 3 month from the time sperm have started to develop before they are ejaculated, so if J, for example, had a fever 3 months ago it would affect his sperm now.
You know, I believe that with male factor you can never say never. Both of the infertile couples I know who have male factor issues (one was count and mobility, the other was low or no sperm) both somehow ended up pregnant without help. They were both lucky, no doubt, but both were told they had no chance without IUI or IVF.
I'm sorry things are rough right now. I hope you get to a better place, soon.
What an ordeal. I'm sorry it was such a rough process for BOTH of you. It's hard enough to deal with IF when one of you is feeling down, but when both of you are feeling low it's terrible. I hope that the rest of the 2ww improves.
FAITH! Why doesn't your blog mark as "new" on my blogroll? I need to look in to that.
{{hugs}} I'm sorry the attempts to "get it on" weren't successful. I agree - that's not easy to work out with stress and physical discomfort with the added pressure of "we HAVE to do this!"
Sorry J. is having such a hard time at work. Why is he being forced into the cust. service part of the job? Hopefully, he can get out of that. Going to work and being miserable every day would be - well - miserable.
Glad you managed to stay relaxed during the procedure. You are doing awesome, girl! No sense worrying about the count at this point - there isn't anything you can do about it now.
Praying for you, Faith.
Hi - I found your blog through a link on Jenny's blog.
My wife and I are in a similar situation as you, although we are lucky enough to have one child already. I'll tell you something that I hope will help: When we were trying on our own for our first, we were told that my count was terrible and that we stood no chance of conceiving on our own. We tried an IUI - didn't work. Took a month off before starting injectables, and we did it on our own during that month. A sperm count is just a snapshot of a particular moment in time. If a guy get a toothache, and it gets infected, 1 month later his count will be awful as a result of that infection. Just keep that in mind.
We were converted to IVF last month, no luck. Currently on an IUI cycle. I hope for the best for you.
Hi Faith,
I'm glad you were able to stay relaxed for your IUI.
I'm sorry that J's count was lower - it does seem like the docs always toss their hands in the air when asked about why counts are the way they are. Stress definitely could be a factor, but who really knows? (You should know that I am still envious of a count of 12 million though...!)
My dh went to a urologist - and he couldn't tell us why the counts are so low (700,000-1 million). I think they did a physical exam and bloodwork but that was it. We also had the genetic bloodwork done but that came back fine. It's a mystery!
The money situation sucks - no doubt about it. Why insurance doesn't cover this stuff is a mystery to me - like infertility is a choice or something... it makes me angry even thinking about it.
I can relate to your painful "get it on" session - we had one of those recently too, and they're just no fun, which stinks, since something about this whole process should be fun!
Anyway, just wanted to check in and say hello, and wish you all the best for your 2ww. I hope to return from my vacation to some good news!
I know everybody is commenting on this and I don't mean to give assvice but I think your nurse is out to lunch. You would never get pg naturally with 24 million and 90% motility? WTF? From what I understand, anything with 20 million and 50% motility is considered adequate. I really don't agree with your nurse at all, maybe I've just spent to much time researching MF. After wash my husband has about 100 sperm with 0% motility - that is never getting pg naturally. What you have is a good chance, kick that nurse directly in the ass for me. I'm praying and hoping this last IUI works for you.
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