Get out of my way... sick hormonal PMSing woman coming through!

Yesterday I almost lost it. Okay- I pretty much did lose it. I still had a fever of almost 103 degrees, had a migraine and was growing increasingly pissed at my Infertility clinic as I thought about all of their faults while in my foggy feverish pain filled state. I decided to call. I didn't care if it went down badly. Worse case would have been me never going back to that place and I could have lived with that. I asked for a particular office girl (one of the few that I like) and told her how upset I was that they weren't getting me in on Friday when I called 5 days earlier for my appt. I still hadn't started my period so I would be going in on CD1 instead of the ideal CD3. I don't even have the opportunity to go in on Saturday(my CD3) since they are only open for IUI's on Saturdays. I explained further that I would also be inconvenienced by having to drive two hours for this appt on Thurs. when I could go on my way out of town Friday. I asked her if they just didn't care since they are the only infertility clinic in a 3 hour radius from my home and have a monopoly on the market. (I was seriously blunt and upset) She quickly tried to calm me down and explain the whole no appt on Friday deal. She said one of the nurses who does the ultrasounds is on vacation. I told her that wasn't my problem. That I pay out of pocket for these services and want to come in on the correct date not to mention that I feel like there is very little importance being placed on my treatments or on my well being. She relented and said there was one nurse coming in at 2pm for a few hours and she's squeeze me in as her first appt.

This brought my blood pressure down by a few notches. J and I will have to leave later than we'd like on Friday for our vacation. We won't get to Yosemite until early evening but that's okay. So lesson learned- demand care, b/c you deserve it and will be walked all over if you don't speak up. Of course there is the part of me that thinks all of the women that work at my RE"s hate me since I do cause a stink when I'm not happy and they are sabotaging my pregnancy efforts. Although- wouldn't they want me to be knocked up ASAP so they could get rid of me?

Warning *TMI*
My AF welcomed me as I woke up this morning at 4am. I had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday. Today I woke to a normal flow and went to work at 5am. At 8am I stood up to stretch and blood poured down my legs. So in a matter of 3 hours my ultra thick tampon, panties, shorts and legs were covered w/ my lovely AF. Thank God no one was working except me. I was the only one there so I cleaned up the best I could and rushed home. My periods are short and extremely heavy on these injectible cycles. They are maybe 2-3 days max and we’re talking a new tampon is required every hour. And can I say the word clots. *enough said*!!!!!! Are your periods heavier on medicated cycles? This should make for a fun wanding tomorrow.

Once home I decided to get some more IVF research done. We are debating between 2 clinics and leaning 90% in favor of one of them. I called the favored clinic and asked about an appt for a consult. They charge $480 for just a consult... can you believe that? I was told that I won't be able to have any financial or medical based questions answered until my consult. So- I have no way of knowing if we'd be candidates for a shared risk or package deal until we have our consult. And they might require even more testing then I've already had. Which means more waiting and more expense. So- I'll have to pay this consult fee before I’m 100% sure that this is the right place for us. Its 3.5 hours away and that is my biggest concern. I plan to drive it each time I have an ultrasound unless I can do local monitoring. I pray I can find someone to do my local monitoring. That will be a lot of driving on my part (7 hours of driving each appt day). I will stay there for the week of the ER and ET but not for all of the ultrasounds. That would add a lot of cost to our already stretched to the max budget. Not to mention that I don't want to be somewhere new, all by myself, while I'm going through this. I want to come home so I can be w/ J. I have no other choices unless I want to stick w/ my current hellish RE’s office.

I'm stressed.