Pre-cycle blood work...

After waiting and waiting for Aunt Flow she finally arrived last night on cycle day 31. I’m like clock work every month with my cycle (always 28 days on the dot) so the thought that I might be pregnant popped into my head. I dragged out the opk’s this month and we got busy at the right time…. So I was thinking maybe…just maybe I could be. But- no…Aunt Flow is here and she’s pissed off. I have truck loads of Midol in my system. I figure the surgery last month screwed things up some. So much for my *oops month.

I went in and had my FSH test done at lunch time today. I was really anxious about this b/c as many of you know… the last results weren’t very good. In fact just thinking about the test put me into tears all morning. I know it’s completely out of my control but it still creates an intense fear in me. Like this number holds J and my fate in its hands. All I can to do is hope for the best and pray that my body responds well during our upcoming cycle.

I also had most of my pre-cycle blood work done on Monday. J and I both went in. They needed 18 vials of blood from me and 6 vials from him. They needed 3 more from me today- so I’ve given 21 vials of blood this week. The lab attendant said that in 8 years she’s only had to draw more blood from one other person and that was a doctor that ordered a bunch of tests on himself. I’ll be giving even more blood this weekend. You could say I feel a little low on blood- especially with Aunt Flow here.

I’m going to have my antral follicle count ultrasound done this Sunday. They wanted me to come on CD3 (Saturday) but they said Sunday was fine so that we only have to stay over one night. We have to stay overnight so that I can give more blood that has to be shipped off to Chicago. (These are some kind of special immunological panels they send off) They only do the blood draws for Chicago on Monday –Thurs so we have to stay up there. I called around locally and I couldn’t find anyone that was willing to draw and ship my blood for me. For my first trip J’s going with me. I hope to learn my way around some since I’ll be making this trip by myself most of the time.

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday season. I haven’t felt the spirit of the season yet, I haven’t done one thing X-mas wise- other than buy gifts for extended family members. I have yet to get my Christmas decorations out and I haven’t even bought a tree. Usually I’d have the tree up along with all of the other decorations and I’d be working on my Christmas cards. To be honest I’m not even sure if I’ll do any of the above this year. Part of me wants to b/c it’s sad to basically not do X-mas. How depressing is that. I need to motivate myself to get into the festivities b/c it will be worth it afterwards. I hope J and I are able to do something special to celebrate... even if it’s just going into the mountains for the day and playing in the snow.

I know I sound a little down in this post but I think it’s just the arrival of AF and the FSH test. Overall I’ve been doing better. I have been taking Lex*apro for about 3 weeks now (for anxiety) and I think it’s already brought me down from a 7 or 8 (climbing the walls) to a 4 or 5. Usually all I do is worry about everything. Now I feel a little mellower. J said he’s noticed I’m not as wound up. So- I’m glad I decided to try it out.

I’ll post again when I get back from my trip to see Dr. Z. I hope everything is going well in your corner of the world.