Going Poop and other things...

Have to start out saying that I've been MIA for a few reasons. The massive amount of blood loss w/ the kidney stone scared the crap out of me. I was so very frightened for the babies. I've had such a difficult time sitting back and enjoying this pregnancy so far. I was just starting to believe that my odds of having a full term baby were highly likely when that happened. That medical incident didn't affect the babies at all thank goodness. They are both fine and I actually had another u/s yesterday that showed them both measuring on time and looking really good. One was sucking his/her thumb. I'm basically at 12 weeks and I'm really hoping that the 2nd trimester goes a little smoother. Between the constant migraines, the hyper-thyroidism and the passing of a kidney stone, not to mention a renal u/s that was at 2:30pm in the afternoon and required 12 hours of fasting...no food or liquid which was horrible...I'm more than worn out. Don't get me wrong. I thank God every day for the miracles that are growing inside me and I would do anything (I mean anything) to keep this pregnancy going. It would just be nice if I could start to feel a little better. And I am. After the kidney stone passed I was sore and exhausted for a few days but then I felt almost human again. My parents came to visit for a week and provided all the meals and did a million things around the house. (We are hoping to move and are putting our house on the market *more on this another time) So I was able to eat and have actually put on a few pounds.

As far as pregnancy goes there are two things that make me much happier than anything else. The first by far is going to an ultrasound and seeing the babies thrive. The second is pooping. YES- I am so deadly serious. I get very excited when I have a bowel movement these days. The frequency is about the same as going for my ultrasounds. Not exactly- but close. I am going every 4-5 days at the most. I was going through a really long stretch when my parents were here and my Mom was sooo excited about my baby bump. Finally on the last day of their visit I managed to go and my Mom realized the bump she was petting all the time wasn't really a baby bump since it basically disappeared after my bathroom visit. I’m now going to take daily Colace to help in that department. I was eating fiber (fiber cereal, fiber bars) by the truckload but it wasn't doing anything.

Remember how I mentioned that I needed my blood drawn and shipped to Chicago so I can see how my immune system (NK cells are doing) I planned to have J do it b/c I refuse to drive once again over 6 hours round trip for a stupid lab draw. I've done that one too many times. Well- I ended up asking my neighbor who's a nurse (she is actually graduating from nursing school next month). She's a nurse’s aide at the moment. I didn't know all of this until I asked her. She was more than willing to help out and J and I were both relieved. I ended up doing this yesterday and it was a disaster. I needed 3 vials of blood. I had 8 vials on hand. We went through 8 vials, 4 veins, and blood everywhere. She couldn't get my blood going and then when it did, the vein would stop all of a sudden. So she'd poke and search around in my vein the try and hit the right spot. She did this on 3 of the veins. Then she got frustrated and while the tourniquet was still around my arm, she withdrew the needle without putting a cotton swab or anything at the location so blood spurted all over the floor, all over the counter top, it was even on the two vials we had managed to fill. Finally we were able to fill 3 vials, cleaned them off and rushed to make it to Fed-Ex 10 mins before they wouldn't take overnight shipments anymore. I hope the vials are okay, that the blood isn't contaminated somehow and that my NK cells come back normal for once so I don't need yet another IVIg infusion. If I need more blood sent to Chicago I'm not sure what I'll do. I won't be asking this neighbor again. Although- I have to give her credit. She could have easily said forget it in the beginning when she was having trouble. She never quit and we finally managed to get 3 vials filled. It also amazes me at how far I've come. 2-3 years ago I would have freaked out at what happened. But, this didn't really faze me at all. I've been through so much poking and prodding, shots and infusions that it would have taken much more for me to have asked her to quit.

Back to another reason why I've been MIA. After the kidney stone incident and my parents left I went back on-line to catch up on blogs. I read a few blogs and everything I read was so terrible. So very sad. So heart-breaking that I literally felt like it was unhealthy for me at that point to keep reading. I'm sorry it that offends anyone. So many of you have been there for me through each rough spot I've gone through. I'm sorry I can't always do the same. I just knew that I was in a very vulnerable place from recent events and needed some time to try and feel positive for both my sake and my babies’ sake. I even attempted to read only "safe blogs"...and there is no such thing. I saw more bad news or even references to others people pain and anguish. I read about a miscarriage at 11 weeks and didn't want to hear about it. I ended up calling J and telling him about my intense fear that it could happen to me. J has threatened over and over that he's going to pack up the computer.

I now think I finally feel like I'm at a place where I can support other bloggers in a healthy manner. I had an u/s and things look great. My NT scan is in less than 2 weeks. I'm almost in the 2nd trimester and I'm praying for smooth sailing from here on out.