No more Shaver
J will be leaving in a few minutes to take our dog "Shaver" away. I debated on whether I should go. I'm staying behind b/c I think it'll be easier that way. I'm truly sad at heart. I feel like I'm abandoning this animal. I hope he will be okay. I wonder if he'll panic or wonder why we dumped him. I'm feeling like a lousy mother. I know it's for the best but these are the only "kids" I have. He made some poor choices and has bad behavior so I give up on him. I know in reality that it's not like that. He is an animal not a human. I have no control when he gets aggressive. It's dangerous and someone could end up seriously hurt or mauled. But- I'm notorious for being an emotional thinker not a logical one.
I've been emotionally sick this week. I've cried so many tears, can't sleep and have extreme bouts of anxiety. I think it's the combo of my BFN from last cycle, this Shaver incident and running low of infertility money. We have a cap on what our insurance will cover and I found out this week that we've used a great deal of it. All of this in a matter of days. I hope I can find some peace and be able to relax soon. I'm on CD5 and I don't want the stress to affect this cycle negatively.
Thank you for listening! I'm truly thankful for all of your support. I may not hang out w/ you, or even know where you live or what you look like. But, I feel like I know you and I consider you my friends.
posted by Keeping The Faith @ 8:44 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
first, i would say, don't stress about your stress - what i mean is, women become pregnant under HORRIBLY distressing circumstances. so don't worry yourself sick about that part of it.
might i humbly suggest, however, that you seek some professional support? I was having a horrible time of it a couple weeks ago and got myself a therapist. I can't tell you how much it's helped.
Here's my big post on mental health:
http://utrus.blogspot.com/2006/05/word-about-therapy.html
hope it helps and hope you feel better soon. hugs. you're not alone in this!
I'm sorry about Shaver. You are doing the right thing, though. You don't want him to get aggressive around the baby you are sure to be bringing home sometime! I know it hurts. You can't explain it to animals and that sucks.
Hope you are feeling better. I'm here for you! {{hugs}}
What a rough time you've been having. All I can think to say is that you truly did everything you could for Shaver. You brought him into your family and gave him a chance. When that was not enough, you went about finding a place that might have the resources to deal with his needs. You are anything but a failure to that dog. If he had stayed with you and despite all you best efforts lashed out at another dog or person, the city could step in and have him put down. In giving him up, you are giving him a chance. So please don't add guilt to your already packed plate.
Have you done anything nice for yourself lately? I know it seems impossible, but even getting out for a walk, a haircut, a manicure - something just for you - might help you exhale just a little bit.
Good luck. I hope things turn around for you soon!
I'm so sorry about Shaver. I can't imagine how hard it is for you. Hang in there.
I'm so sorry about Shaver, our pets truly do become part of our families and to let one go is just heartbreaking.
Thinking of you...
Hi KTF. I just stumbled in here, and I want to say how sorry I am about Shaver. I can fully imagine how you feel - I also have an aggressive dog, and we have to keep him away from everyone and everything. I sometimes worry that we will have to put him down, because training has made no difference. I hope you feel better soon.x
You really did make the right decision. I'm so sorry you have the emotional flu this week. Anxiety and sleeplessness is a rotten combination that I personally know all too well. I wish I knew how to make you feel better. The only thing I can say is that I am where you are and I understand and I'm listening to you. You did the right thing and you are a really great person to have cared so much when most people wouldn't have cared so much for Shaver to find him a good home.
I am so sorry about Shaver, but you did the right thing. And I second utrus - don't put pressure on yourself to "not be stressed." Sometimes it helps to just let it all out - let yourself feel sad, angry, worried, whatever. Don't try and put on a good face on something that really just sucks.
Enough assvice. I am so sorry you're feeling crappy. Hugs to you.
I agree with Utrus - don't let the stress "stress" you. They have done some research that shows stress really doesn't affect the ability to get pregnant.
I am so sorry about Shaver. I hope the weekend wasn't too heart breaking for you.
I'm so sorry about Shaver. It is really tough to part from our doggie families.
Thinking of you as you go through this!
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