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Thursday, January 25, 2007

Infusion Therapy

I'm going to back up to Monday. On Monday I worked for a few hours before coming down with a horrible migraine. I believe it was Lupron induced. My Estodial was down to 14 on Sunday so it was most likely down to zero on Monday since I didn't start my stims until Monday night. I made it home and holed up in bed dreaming about the Imitrix in my medicine cabinet that my RE said I cannot take. I am only allowed Tylenol which might as well be powered water. I had to basically crawl to a dermatologist appt in the afternoon b/c I'd had the appt for 3 months. My primary doctor wanted me to have some suspicious looking moles looked at. The nurse at the Dermatologist was the high pitched talkative type. She asked me questions and found out I'm on fertility drugs for my IVF cycle. She proceeded to tell me that she didn't get pregnant for 2 years b/c she was too obsessed with baby making and finally did when she relaxed. By now I had mentioned to her that I had a headache at least 3 times and really wanted to push her out the window.

Interestingly enough- the Dermatologist later disclosed to me that it took her 4 IVF's to have her first child. She did a bunch of IUI's with the same RE that I used before I found Dr. Z. She validated the fact that he was an A-hole and she also went running as fast as she could to someone else. Her biggest regret was that she wasted time w/ too many cycles on Clomid and IUI's. She wished she had gone straight to IVF and not wasted any time. She had a "oops-natural" baby a year after her 4th IVF finally worked so she has two children now. It paid off to share b/c originally she wasn't going to have time this week to remove a "funny looking" mole and when we shared IVF info she squeezed me in today (Thus). Dr. Z said I could have it removed this week but not one we got close to ER. So I'm glad I can get it taken care of.

I managed to crawl back home after the appt and go to back to bed until Tues morning when I had to travel 3 hours up north for my IVIg. It's amazing what you do when you have too. I took some books on tape (Thanks Yellowgirl) for the ride, food/Gatorade, Ipod and magazines for the actual infusion. I ended up being the only patient there for my entire infusion. This disappointed me at first b/c I thought it would be nice to chat with someone..but later was grateful as my head got worse and worse and I just wanted to die. At one point I had to ask for a break. My blood pressure was down to 71/53, (is that even alive?) I felt like I was going to vomit and my head had 6 hammers banging away at once. They kept telling me to drink more fluids and eat. I shoved food in my mouth while pushing down the urge to vomit hoping it would help. It didn't. They ended up giving me a half hour break from the IVIg and just put an entire bag of fluids into my IV... that helped a little and then they started up again until I was done. I had to use every ounce of strength I had to get home. I though briefly of staying over for the night but I had nothing with me and I really just wanted to get home. Once home I just cried from the pain in my head. J felt bad and tried to help but there was little he could do, except give me my shots of Lupron/Repronex and Gonal-f...

I think the Migraine I had going into this was the problem. I don't think the IVIg would be bad at all if I was feeling fine going in to it. The side effects can be nausea, headaches and aches and pain. I also noticed that the substance stings as it goes in at the IV site. They give you a heated pillow for your arm and that helps. There is a good chance I'll need another one next week so hopefully that experience will be much better.

Finally- today I feel better. Not 100% but great compared to before. You'd think I should be dancing around and running a marathon. Shouldn't I feel wonderful after having a $2500 IVIg. This stuff must be liquid gold.

It'll all be worth it when I'm holding our child in my arms.

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The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller