Lab Rat

I need to start posting more b/c by the time I finally sit down to write I don't know where to begin.

Most of my blood work is in and it looks like I have a few immune issues. I have elevated natural killer cells and might need IVIg. This sucks b/c it's extremely expensive. It's about $2500 for one infusion. I'll need one on the day of the egg retrieval and then up to three more after confirmation of a positive beta. There is still a chance I won't need it but they said I should plan on doing it at this point. The basic theory (as I understand it) behind this is that if you have elevated natural killer cells then your immune system is basically too strong. Your body not only fights off cancer cells, germs, etc... but also sees an embryo as foreign and this leads to implantation failure or early miscarriage. IVIg lowers your NK cells and therefore makes your immune system more baby friendly. I also tested positive for two MTHFR mutations so I'll be taking Lovenox and prescription strength Folgard. I'm still waiting on one other important test that will tell me if I have to be on Humira. If I end up needing this drug, my cycle might be pushed off for a few weeks since you have to take it for 2 weeks prior to stims. Unfortunately since some of my test results came back positive for immune issues, Dr Z wants me to do a few more specialized blood tests that have to be sent once again to Chicago. I wasn't pleased to hear this b/c it means I have to drive all the way back up there for more blood tests since I can't find anyone locally that will ship my blood. This means that J and I will be going back on Dec 26th (yes- the day after X-Mas). Fun Fun. The one benefit is that they will go over how we're supposed to do all of the injections while we are there. I had figured we'd stumble our way through it and figure it out. It makes me feel better now that we'll actually know what to do beforehand. I was pretty overwhelmed when my gazillion medications arrived in this huge box. In fact I had tears develop and knew that if I didn't want this so damn much I'd never be able to go through with it.

So far I'm taking or I'll be on:

Desogen (bcp's-currently on these)
Prescription strength prenatal
Prescription strength Folgard (2.2mg folic acid)
Metformin (Glucophage)
Gonal-f injections
Repronex injections
Lupron injections
Medrol
Lovenox injections
Doxycycline
Cipro
HCG injection (for my trigger shot)
Progesterone injections
Humira injections????
IVIg (infusion)???*most likely
1 or 2x week acupuncture

*plus the many nutritional supplements I'm taking.

I'm starting to feel like this baby is going to be bio engineered. Aren't they basically changing my chemistry with all of this crap I'll be taking. I sure hope they know what they're doing. This is pretty scary and intimidating. You wonder how all of these medications will affect you later on down the road.

The metformin is still kicking my ass. Thanks you so much for all of your advice. I'd say I'm a little better but not much. I'm pretty much nauseous 24/7. My symptoms sound just like really bad morning sickness ironically enough. I can't stand the smell of cooking food...especially meats. I have to avoid the kitchen a lot. And I can't eat anything with condiments on them. It must be the high sugar content in things like ketchup, honey mustard and B-Bque sauce.
I wondering how this will work with Christmas day. We're going to be with J's family and I can just see me puking in the bathroom with all of the smells and everyone thinking I'm pregnant.

If all continues as planned and I don't need the Humira then I should be starting on Lupron 12/31 and stims on 1/9.

I'm just trying to keep my chin up, my heart hopeful and take it one day at a time.

Back from Dr. Z

As J and I drove up for my antral follicle count I was trying to prepare myself for some bad news. High FSH must mean low antral follicle counts, right.... but nope I was beyond shocked when he told me I had 9 or more on each ovary. So it looks like I have about 20 antral follicles. He said that was excellent and could actually mean I have a touch of PCOS. I asked him if I should be concerned about the FSH numbers and he said not to give it a 2nd thought. We're still waiting on the results from my latest FSH test and he said he would accept us into his shared risk without knowing what the number is. He also said that some women with PCOS have higher levels of FSH. I guess there are several variations of the disorder. I truly was shocked b/c I have no symptoms of PCOS. My periods are like clockwork, I have no extra facial/body hair and I'm pretty thin.

Dr. Z thinks I'll respond well so he's putting me on the long Lup*ron protocol. I'm actually already in cycle now since I started my bcp's on Sunday. I'll be on 80% Go*nal-f and 20* Repro*nex when I start the stims. I'll also be on Medr*ol. There might be some additional medications for immune issues depending on how my test results come back. I should hear about my NK cells today or tomorrow. Since Dr. Z thinks I might have a case of PCOS he put me on Metfo*rmin. He thinks it'll help with egg quality and can't hurt. This drug is kicking my ass though. I started it on Sunday and I've been pretty nauseous and been having the runs ever since. Anyone had any experience with this? I have to up my dosage next week too. I hope the side effects go away. Something else I found interesting was that he has his patients use Progesterone in Eth*yl Ole*ate. I guess it's less painful than the sesame or peanut oil base. Eth*yl Ole*ate is a much thinner substance and can be used with a smaller gauge needle. I was dreading the PIO shots (I have absolutely no ass... LOL) and this should make it a little better.

Overall I couldn't have been happier with my appt. Dr. Z is an amazing doctor and took lots of time to talk to J and I. He also explained everything thoroughly during the u/s.

I will have to deal with crappy commuter traffic. Dr. Z is just outside the city in the bay area and the traffic is horrible! I'll have to plan a few extra hours into my drive b/c of traffic. *sigh

Now I get to obsess about whether or not the Long Lupr*on Protocol is truly the right one for me :-) I figured I'd be on the micro-dose protocol. Now I'm worried that I'll be over suppressed. (I've already spent half a day goggling about it) This is when I need someone to hit me over the head and tell me to snap out of it since Dr. Z knows what he's doing.

Looks like my ER and ET will fall in mid to late January. Wow- this is happening fast.

Pre-cycle blood work...

After waiting and waiting for Aunt Flow she finally arrived last night on cycle day 31. I’m like clock work every month with my cycle (always 28 days on the dot) so the thought that I might be pregnant popped into my head. I dragged out the opk’s this month and we got busy at the right time…. So I was thinking maybe…just maybe I could be. But- no…Aunt Flow is here and she’s pissed off. I have truck loads of Midol in my system. I figure the surgery last month screwed things up some. So much for my *oops month.

I went in and had my FSH test done at lunch time today. I was really anxious about this b/c as many of you know… the last results weren’t very good. In fact just thinking about the test put me into tears all morning. I know it’s completely out of my control but it still creates an intense fear in me. Like this number holds J and my fate in its hands. All I can to do is hope for the best and pray that my body responds well during our upcoming cycle.

I also had most of my pre-cycle blood work done on Monday. J and I both went in. They needed 18 vials of blood from me and 6 vials from him. They needed 3 more from me today- so I’ve given 21 vials of blood this week. The lab attendant said that in 8 years she’s only had to draw more blood from one other person and that was a doctor that ordered a bunch of tests on himself. I’ll be giving even more blood this weekend. You could say I feel a little low on blood- especially with Aunt Flow here.

I’m going to have my antral follicle count ultrasound done this Sunday. They wanted me to come on CD3 (Saturday) but they said Sunday was fine so that we only have to stay over one night. We have to stay overnight so that I can give more blood that has to be shipped off to Chicago. (These are some kind of special immunological panels they send off) They only do the blood draws for Chicago on Monday –Thurs so we have to stay up there. I called around locally and I couldn’t find anyone that was willing to draw and ship my blood for me. For my first trip J’s going with me. I hope to learn my way around some since I’ll be making this trip by myself most of the time.

I hope everyone is having a happy holiday season. I haven’t felt the spirit of the season yet, I haven’t done one thing X-mas wise- other than buy gifts for extended family members. I have yet to get my Christmas decorations out and I haven’t even bought a tree. Usually I’d have the tree up along with all of the other decorations and I’d be working on my Christmas cards. To be honest I’m not even sure if I’ll do any of the above this year. Part of me wants to b/c it’s sad to basically not do X-mas. How depressing is that. I need to motivate myself to get into the festivities b/c it will be worth it afterwards. I hope J and I are able to do something special to celebrate... even if it’s just going into the mountains for the day and playing in the snow.

I know I sound a little down in this post but I think it’s just the arrival of AF and the FSH test. Overall I’ve been doing better. I have been taking Lex*apro for about 3 weeks now (for anxiety) and I think it’s already brought me down from a 7 or 8 (climbing the walls) to a 4 or 5. Usually all I do is worry about everything. Now I feel a little mellower. J said he’s noticed I’m not as wound up. So- I’m glad I decided to try it out.

I’ll post again when I get back from my trip to see Dr. Z. I hope everything is going well in your corner of the world.