5 Months Old...

Today Andrew and Matthew turned 5 months old. It seems like I wrote their 4 month post just last week. I am doing much better this week. Thanks for all of the support! We got out of the house this weekend. It was all four of us but that was fine. Just leaving the house and seeing a change of scenery was great. We went and stocked up on diapers that were on sale and bought a bunch of organic baby food that I had coupons for. They were about to expire so I needed to use them. We also had a showing for our house this weekend while J was home. We didn't have much notice so we had to clean everything up really quickly...plus it was raining so we needed to take the dogs with us when we left. We had to get all of us ready to leave, including the dogs... and our backyard was starting to flood from the rain (ugh) so it was major chaos. J got pretty frustrated and although I didn't enjoy his frustration, I felt validated on how much of a pain it is to have the house up for sale. I know he understands and appreciates all I do and that makes such a difference. Just as I appreciate how hard he works for our family. He works 11 hour days (plus a commute) and most Saturdays to bring in extra income right now.

I have also been trying really hard to eat better. It only makes sense that I'll be more easily irritated if I am not properly nourished. On Sunday I made dinner while J cut a bunch of veggies and put them in some Tupperware containers for me to eat during the week. So I can just grab the tub out of the fridge and either throw some of the stuff on a tortilla or on bread to make a veggie sandwich or I can just eat it w/ dip. I have no excuse now b/c it's ready and easy to put together. I'm pretty picky w/ what I eat (not a big meat eater) and love veggie sandwiches so this is great (and healthy). For example... I put red onion, red bell peppers (roasted is best), tomatoes, sprouts (avocado if available) and cream cheese on wheat bread or rolls that are toasted w/ vinaigrette drizzled all over it (grilled egg plant is also excellent) and then I'll eat broccoli and cauliflower w/ melted cheese as a side dish. Yum ...I used to eat this several times a week and need to get back into doing it.

J also offered to take over last night once we went to sleep (and I accepted) so I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night or early this morning. He had to get up w/ Andrew at 2am and with Matthew at 4am. After that he was up to start his day since he leaves for work at 5am... so I'm sure he's very tired today. I was able to stay in bed until 6am so that was beyond nice. I feel refreshed. J and I both realize that he actually handles sleep deprivation much better than I do. I feel like crap if I get less than 7 hours. Which means I fall into the feeling like crap category pretty often. If I get 7 then I'm terrific. And it has to be 7... 6 hours doesn't cut it. J seems to do just fine if he gets at least 5 hours straight. He would like 7 or more but functions well on five. How...I have no idea. It seems like I should be the one that handles less sleep better. Women actually require less sleep than men in general and I'm also more physically fit than J at the moment. So what gives?

Anyway... I feel like I got my vent off my chest and that I was "heard" which is important. I'm a lucky girl to have a husband that listens and immediately tries to make things better for me.


And now...on to 5 month milestones:

• Matthew rolled over for the first time two weeks ago. He has proceeded to roll over several more times (from back to tummy and tummy to back). He rocks from side to side non-stop all day long and gets frustrated when he can't make it all the way over. He also wiggles all over the floor mat so I have to keep a close eye on him b/c he manages to move right off it.
• Andrew has absolutely no interest in rolling over at this time :-) He loves to jump up and down and all around in his exerciser though.
• Both babies are getting much better at grasping and holding things. They will hold a small stuffed animal or a rattle.
  
• Both boys have gone from 6 bottles a day to 5 and occasionally they only drink 4. Each bottle has 5.5 to 6 ounces in it. So they are actually drinking less total then they did at 3 months.
  
• Each only produces a poopy diaper once a day and they sometimes even skip a day. This makes the majority of diaper changes much quicker.
  
• Andrew now drinks from a stage 3 bottle nipple and can finish an entire bottle in 2 or 3 mins. He literally gulps it down but has no issues with drinking that fast other than a big belch afterwards. Matthew is on a stage 2 nipple and it takes him about 15-20 minutes to eat. I read that 15 mins is about how long it should take a baby to eat from a bottle or you should consider a different sized nipple. We really had no choice but to move Andrew to a stage 3 nipple. It took him 30-45 mins to eat from a stage 2... and now down to 3 mins w/ a stage 3. He never became very efficient at sucking and now it basically pours right into his mouth. I wish there were something in between a stage 2 and stage 3, but as long as he seems okay I guess we'll just continue to eat super fast. (which is great when Matthew is waiting for Andrew to finish so he can eat)
• Andrew is just about to move up to size 3 diapers. Matthew will continue to wear a size 2 for a while.
  
• Both are awake for much longer during the day. We have lots of activity and play time.
  
• Mornings are our favorite time of day. Both seem to be extremely happy and talkative in the morning. Andrew gets so excited and laughs when I go to get him out of the crib in the morning.
  
• The babies no longer sleep in their "sleep positioners". They still share a crib in our room but that will change in a month or so. We'll move them to their nursery and into separate cribs at that point.
  
• We swaddle the babies w/ their arms out now. Matthew hates being swaddled so it doesn't make sense to do it anymore. We still swaddle his body so that he doesn't kick off the blanket at night and get cold. I just ordered these ... (https://www.halosleep.com/products/detail/?product_id=14) for the boys to sleep in and once they arrive we will stop swaddling completely. I love this product idea b/c it reduces the risk of SIDS b/c you won't need loose blankets in the crib anymore and it'll keep your baby from kicking their blanket off at night.
  
• No solids yet. They just don't seem ready and every time I start thinking about trying out rice cereal...I read "again" somewhere that you should wait if they aren't showing all of signs for being ready. They aren't sitting up well yet, they show no interest in what I eat and they are still satisfied w/ formula alone. So it looks like we'll be waiting until 6 months to try out solids.
  
• Still no teeth. We're drooling more so maybe sometime in the near future? I actually love their gummy smiles so I'm in no hurry for their teeth to come in. Pus we're sleeping better and I am not looking forward to any teething issues.
• And I love these boys even more now that I did last month which I would have though was impossible. I just pray everyday that they grow up happy and healthy.
  

Vent Session*

Yes, I know I signed up for being a stay at home Mom...even a SAHM w/ twins. I wanted this more than anything. I still do. I love it. I love time w/ my two darlings. I try really hard to be the best I can be w/ them. I want to be better than any day care or nanny. These are my kids. I play w/ them... plan activity time...exercise time. I even gave them full body, ten minute massages yesterday that they loved. It is my job to have them thrive...to be stimulated...to grow strong and healthy. I think I'm pretty good at this job. This is a full time job w/ loads of overtime.

It's everything else that has me frustrated and irritated to no end. I want to be super woman and do it all but really we all have limits. I could skimp on the mothering and let them lay in their bouncers longer or have them nap longer during the day (which in turn means really lousy nights) or something has to give. Currently I take care of almost 5 month old twins... this includes twice weekly on average medical appts that have been piling up like mad. We have physical therapy, we have Children's Valley Hospital, we have monthly immunizations due to our personal vaccine schedule, check-ups, etc...etc... not to mention my own appts on top of that. So lets see....the short "daily" list w/ parenting infant twins...includes, cleaning and making bottles, feedings, burpings, diaper changes, comforting (lots of comforting and soothing), stimulating and entertaining, etc...etc...

On top of this... we have our house listed for sale. I have to spend an hour or two minimum every morning running around like crazy... trying to get everything perfect. I make the bed, I clean all the counter tops, I vacuum, I dust, I pick up dog poop outside...then before an actual showing... I run around and hide anything and everything. DO YOU KNOW what a pain in my ass this is w/ two babies. We have exercisers to hide in the garage...bouncy seats to hide in the closet, toys to throw in the playpen... dog and cat bowls (even a litter box) to hide so its not so obvious we have so many "inside"pets.... then the dogs are even hidden. They go in the dog run on the side of the house or if its raining like yesterday I actually put them in the car and park it on the side of the street. I usually don't leave during a showing b/c its just to difficult but I try to have the babies fed and diapered so they're in happy moods. Then we pace around waiting for the expectant "buyer" so that right after they leave I can get all of the baby stuff out again and we can get on w/ our regularly scheduled program. As you can see we're desperate to sell our house.

And let's see... on top of the above mentioned. I handle all of the bills..including medical claims. The bills aren't too big a deal... but the calls to the insurance about incorrect claims have definitely raised my blood pressure a time or two. In fact I had a call in to them yesterday and am waiting on a response. I also make my husbands lunch every single day. Not a big deal..but I take a little time w/ it b/c I try to have cut up vegetables, a dairy product, a healthy sandwich, etc. all ready for him. I also try and succeed most of the time at having something ready for dinner. It is usually simple but I try. I also feed and take care of the pets. This means the daily poop clean up outside and feedings. I try to spend a little time nurturing and petting them too since they've lost their ranking big time in the household since the twins have arrived. They went from being extremely spoiled to being on the side lines now and I feel bad about that.

So many of these things are "not a big deal" but when they are all added up they are a big deal. I know I'm not even listing everything. I just know I'm getting so irritated. And it's pretty much taken out on my husband. He works long days...really long days to provide for our family so I really can't complain that he's doing nothing. He's great w/ the kids...great w/ me...etc. But... oh man.. when we go to bed two hours after he gets home and he starts snoring loudly the minute his head hits the pillow.. I am so annoyed. I lay there night after night w/ thoughts running through my head. I think about the day...about what needs to be done tomorrow. I worry about our house situation. I think...I think when I should be sleeping. I think. He snores. So irritating. When J gets home...he eats. I rarely eat. That is my fancy trick for being so skinny (sorry to disappoint you all)... I forget to eat. He comes home some days and I realize that I've had nothing to eat but some crackers all day... I've made him lunch and dinner but when it comes to me... nada. Is this J's fault...NO. J's also regular in the bathroom dept. I'm not...so totally not. Good thing b/c I don't have time to go #2. J gets that bathroom visit each night after dinner. (TMI)

so what is my point... I'm jealous over J going to the bathroom... everyday. How sad is that. He gets to read a magazine in there. I ordered a book a month ago b/c I want to be a part of a book club and I have yet to read past the first page. Who am I kidding... I will never be able to read that book. I have two months of magazines that I've never had a chance to look at. I get irritated when J's sleeping and I'm worrying over every little thing. How unfair is that...so do I want both of us tossing and turning w/ worry? I actually feel guilty and then mad for feeling guilty for asking J to watch the kids so I can take shower. My down-time is washing my dirty hair and shaving my hairy legs 2x week. Or when I get lucky and J watches the boys so I can get out to do the grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping. And even worse when I get home and the babies have been sleeping for two hours so I'm right back on duty the second I get home.

Do you see the problem? This isn't J's fault but I'm frustrated and I'm taking it out on him. He has so little free time too... So there is no answer... no solution to this situation and I just want to cry b/c right now...this very second... I need to be cleaning the house and here I am wasting time writing on my blog.

And I have another Freaking HEADACHE!


*(Written a few hours later) This is what I needed today. To vent. I needed to let it all out and let it go so that tomorrow I can have a better day. There is a solution. It will get better. We'll either sell the house or we won't but having it on the market will be temporary. I enjoy the kids more each day... they are truly incredible. The slightest thought of not having them breaks me out in cold sweats. And J... what can I say. I am so lucky to have J. He is so understanding. He has a side too... I'm sure his vent would be longer than mine :-) but we love one another and we will look back on all this and see many more good days than bad.

Nearing 5 Months

Not a whole lot to report. My parents came down for a visit this weekend. So J and I went to see the movie "Definitely, Maybe" and had a late lunch afterwards. Movie was decent...not great but entertaining enough. It was extremely nice to get out and have some time alone w/ J. Lately I've been trying to just get out of the house more. Last week I took the boys on a walk almost everyday. It just breaks up the day which I find important b/c sometimes my days blur together with the endless 3-4 hour cycles of care that repeat over and over.

Now I enjoy "field trips" of my choosing for an errand or to get a coffee at Starbucks, but the medical appts are becoming daunting. The pediatrician we have is very cautious and I appreciate that. But what comes along with that is lot of visits to specialists to play it on the safe side. I pretty much set myself up for all of these appts when I express worry and anxiety over every tiny thing that has to do with the boys. So for example, I started to notice that Andrew has the start of a little flattening on the back of his head. So that led to seeing a specialist to see if he needed a helmet to correct whats called flat head syndrome. The pediatrician said it was very minor and he doubted that we would even be considered a candidate for a helmet but I had to be sure. I don't exactly want my kid walking around w/ a deformed head because I don't do tummy time enough. So the specialist pretty much laughed at me and said we in no way needed to be there and that Andrew looks great.... but that he'd have me come back in a month to reassure me that it hasn't gotten worse. More examples include the worry that Andrew looks one direction more than the other...so that lead to physical therapy 2x week to strengthen his neck muscles. Physical therapist said its very minor but we'll work on it to be on the safe side. And can I say that physical therapy w/ a baby is ridiculous. He kept crying and all she did was hand him back to me b/c she couldn't get him calm enough to do any exercises. Another example... Andrew has the kidney reflux and that is hereditary which means Matthew has a 40% chance of having it. This signed me up for more appts at Valley Children's hospital to have Matthew tested. The list goes on and on. So am I being paranoid or a very good and protective mother. Maybe a little of both I think.

On my medical front...I have the start of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. I've been waking up w/ my fingers and palm all numb and tingly. Like my hand is asleep and it shakes off within 5 mins of waking but when I mentioned this to my doctor she immediately said it's Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and that I need to start wearing a wrist brace at night so it doesn't get any worse. It's probably due to the fact that I'm carrying around a baby for most of the day. I have one of them constantly propped up on my shoulder.

Doctor also wants me to try *Ela.vil out for my chronic headaches. This is an anti-depressant but its prescribed sometimes for headache suffers. She said she's found it to be successful at helping many of her patients. I'm not thrilled. I just don't like the idea of being on an anti-depressant (when I'm not depressed) and all the side effects that usually go along w/ those.



J and I


Our Family

4 1/2 months

My CAT Scan came back normal. I guess thats good news but I was actually disappointed that they didn't find something that could be "fixed" so my headaches would go away or lessen. My head X-rays show moderate inflammation of my sinuses (Sinusitis) but I've been told by my physician that Sinusitis is difficult to treat. I have a physical w/ my primary care doctor next Monday so I'm hoping that she'll at least have something new for me to try...for both my migraines and daily headaches.

Andrew and Matthew are 4 1/2 months old now. I enjoy each day more than the previous one. And just when I think they couldn't possibly get any cuter...wham...they are cuter than ever. I love the laughing... the giggles and chuckles. I can't get enough of it. I spend the majority of the day trying to get one more laugh or enormous smile. We all have a pretty good routine down and it doesn't vary much. We do the eat, activity/play time, nap, eat, activity/play time, nap...over and over again. The activity time gets longer and longer each week. Right now we play anywhere from an hour to two hours at a stretch. Usually we play in the exercisers, then go to mat/ activity gym time and sometimes into the playpen depending on our mood. Matthew almost always goes straight into nap time after playing. Whereas Andrew needs to cuddle and be held for at least 10-15 mins before being put down.

Andrew is definitely my cuddle baby. He soft and round w/ many rolls and a big Buddha belly. He likes lots of attention and isn't going to be rolling over or crawling anytime soon. He just wants you to hold him and if he's playing he's more interested in watching everything than in trying to move around. I actually call him my drama baby now. He's so passionate about his feelings. He'll be deliriously happy and have this intoxicating laugh and smile that lights up his whole face. He'll laugh and laugh (a full belly laugh)...and a mil-second later he's needy and crying to be held. He'll want to be held close and hear me sing nursery rhymes while we snuggle. If he doesn't get this right away he'll scream...blood curling screams that cause tears to stream down his face. In fact he'll start to hyper-ventilate b/c he forgets to breathe between sobs. I actually have to laugh sometimes b/c he's so quick to go from one to the other and flop back and forth between the two. Mr. Drama baby that one.

Matthew is very different from his brother. They are definitely two separate little guys w/ very distinct personalities. Matthew is much more active and independent. Matthew is long and lean... he looks so skinny next to his brother. They are actually only 1.5 pounds apart but on a baby it looks like a lot. Matthew can play independently for a long time and he is desperate to roll over. He rolls onto his side non-stop. And you can see him struggling to make that last push to flop all the way over. When I help him complete the roll from his side to his tummy he's so happy. He'll be rolling over any day now. He also "swims" while on his tummy. You can see that crawling won't be far off either. Matthew still spits up like crazy whereas his brother keeps down every drop. When Matthew falls asleep in my arms it's extra special to me b/c normally he gets "squirmy" after a while and seems to like relaxing in his bouncy seat more than being held. I can already picture him saying "down" when I try holding him once he starts talking. He does like time in the baby bjorn carrier and loves it when you lay next to him on the ground or talk to him when he's in the swing or bouncer. He'll stare right at you w/ those big blue eyes and try to mimic your expressions. Sometimes he looks so serious. Matthew was my more difficult baby in the beginning but I think it was all due to the reflux. So now that we have him on Zantac he's pretty easy most of the time. He's very easy to read. If he's crying it's because he's hungry or has a dirty diaper. Otherwise he's fine. He likes to play and he'll go down for a nap easily. Although Matthew is the more "independent" one at this stage...I'd also say he has a shy side to him. Or it appears that way. He likes to hide his face. When you hold him he burrows his face in your chest. It makes you wonder if he can breath. And when he smiles he looks bashful. He gets this big grin and then turns his face a little like he's embarrassed. I'm sure none of this is actually true...but it's how it looks.

As far as sleeping goes. On a good night they go 8 or even 9 hours. (from the start of one feed to the next) On a bad night it's usually 5. I'd say they typically go 7 hours. And it's never the same one that consistently wake us up. They seem to take turns. Sometimes we're curious on just how long they would sleep if we fed the one that wakes and not the other. But, we almost always regret doing this when the other wakes up 30-60 mins after the first. So we normally feed both in the hopes that we can feed them quickly and get a little more sleep before we start our day.

***BTW we had our first two vaccinations at their 4 month check up and it went much better than I expected. They cried for a minute or two and that was it. I've had a few people interested in how we decided on our vaccination schedule. If you have any questions and want to know where we gathered our information...please e-mail me so I can respond to you privately. My e-mail can be found on my profile page. This reminds me... At just over 4 months....Matthew weighed in at 14 pounds (24.6 inches) and Andrew was a whopping 15 pounds 10 oz (25 inches).



Andrew




Matthew